Everyday is a sunny day!

(quote from aunty: may not be in chronogical order:p)

wushu getting more sian liao... haix... nobody comes for training... seniors oso grad le... den got no motivation... competition coming liao yet i still slacking... den jul always taking every chance that she have to "scold" me... wat "u think every logistic like him meh? anyhow throw thing"... he do this, he do tt... etc etc and all tt i can do is to shut up and acts as if nothing happens... arghz... suffer... den yah... i got name loh!... call me logistic still ok... den she keeps "you ren" ，"ta"，"shui" etc etc... but dun use my name... I GOT A NAME!!!! but think she oso forgot wat me name is anymore...

+[my name is for you to call, for a name too long not called, it'll be forgotten, and nvr will it be remembered again]+

MA really efficient now... too efficient liao... suddenly got so many shootings to go... shoot till i tired liao... yet cant stop oso... ACAN proj due on tue and yet ive not started anything!!! sat got proj, den sun sch not open. mon claz frm 3-5pm... den tue 9am muz hand in liao!!!! HOW!?!!??

today shooting, den asked the leader a few more qns den he felt stress... haix... why am i giving him stress? duno lah... i tot i juz asked qns... and nvm... think i stress oso... so many things to do... yet there's no motivation at all... arghz... xu yao yi xie ci ji....-_-"

im experiencing tiredness.... not stress ba... arghz... but haven reach extreme tiredness... so might still be able to take it for another week... hopefully sun can rest well... den bia again for the coming week5... (starting to worry liao... week5!!-_-" week 8 got interim liao... dun have confidence in the video... 1st time got this feeling... very insecure sia... den ACAN think until so gd... but confirm later do lousier than wat is planned... haix... den will be veru disappointing sia)... wushu... even worse... competition when i oso duno... think is in 2 weeks time??? meaning i got another 3 trainings? AH!!!! no time to train lioa!!! biangz... i dun wana lose until very jialat leh... but i losing my stamina le... need help!!!

haix... at nite after training... i "scolded" gary... den i say muz scold him to wake him up... if not he's sure to retain another yr liao... den jiao heard it... she say why i so bad?... with her disappointed with me look... diaoz... i think i disappointed her again... it's the 3rd or 2nd time liao... haix... if i lose her as a friend, den i'll be left with nothing liao...
got a feeling im changing back to my yr 1 attitude liao... everything ai mai ai mai... den quiet quiet, kbkb... to the 1 everybody dun dare to come close me... ARGH!!!!!

felt sad abot making jiao disappinted... den i dun why... started to think alot again.. the above lah:p sch wrk, jul, jiao, wushu, committee... haix... kept quiet for the rest of the journey home... though jul this time taking mrt... she's not in the same cabin with me... if she saw my face... she'll start using every chances again...

on bus... saw zirong (sec sch best friend) she said... ni shou hen duo le leh!... biangz...-_-" i soo thin liao still become thinner??!!?? ok lah... she's the 2nd psn say i thin today laio... but she's the 4th psn in the 2 mths saying tt ive grown thinner... the 1st who said it is haijiao... haix... i thin laio, den got thinner... wat does tt means? ... it means tt im juz a pile of walking bones......... bu hao xiao...:p

so sick and tired suddenly... really sick... got abit of flu and fever liao... bad feeling... dne during noon kena stomachache... sianz... den tired... spent too much energy liao... on wat? i oso not sure sia... on wrk? training? chatting? thinking?... haix... on lots of things lah...

am i really getting thinner? can someone tell me? sam oso say i got thinner... den she makes the 5th psn liao... i got gain weight leh... why am i getting thinner? coz i grow taller?(if tt's true den i'll be happier:p hahaha)... too stress liao ah? how come i get thinner? si bei jialat... but the fact is i got pants tt i can wear last yr, but now cant wear liao...

haix... now i do everything got no motivation... i noe wat i have to do and wat i gotta do and how to do... but no motivation sia... bridge is motivation...

+[I see the road in front. I noe ive to get there... but the bridge is broken... how do i get to the other side]+

...it's autumn time, 2:15 AM

a blog for ystrday...

suddenly i felt i abit hua xin... am i or am i not?... i start to wonder... why can i like someone so easily? is it becoz im desperate? or is it becoz i really like the gal? or is it im really tt flirt?(btw, i dun admit tt im a flirt, i juz have nu ren yuan) hmm... or im really tt kind see 1, like 1?

1st love... her name is Linda Ng Lian Na, reason? she's the 1st person who trusted me... in primary, im very hated by other classmates and they gave me nicknames... some real bad 1s... so i wun say it here:p haha. basically everyone stays away frm me... see me den wana bash me, since im oso so small size, so ez to bully oso:( kk... it was the primary 5 camp... there's 1 day we go on Bt Timah hill for a climb... the she, is a very clean psn, scared of mud etc etc, basically timid. so i had to find her gd gd path to walk... den when there's a puddle of water in front, i had to hold her across the water... 1st gal who trusted me came like tis... for the rest of the days of the camp, i supported her and somehow... the love developes... but nvr jio her lah... coz i still young... haha nian shou wu zhi:p(innocent) till now i oso duno she remembers me or noe i like her anot....

2nd love, during sec sch, Esther Tan Shin Sian, she's of the same height wif me, shorter:p and im frm NCC, those guys, classmates of her's, started to rumour tt i like her... i of coz denied... coz i dun even noe who's tt gal!!! den during march, by chance, she was sitting @ the study corner, she's with her friend. My buddy told me 1 of 'em is her, and duno where i get the gut, i walked to them, cut their conversation (and i think i oso got slam on the table too:p during sec im a ah beng sort of psn, coz dun wana be bullied like during pri sch) and asked who's shin sian... she slowly raised her hands... like very scared like tt...:P haha, den i say ok thx... den i walked away... haix:p think tt's a very bad impression liao lah:p den during june i really liked her liao:p somehow, i think i jioed her? but i dun think is counted as jio ba... it's juz frequently send her gd nite sms, every special occasion give her self-made gifts. esp v'day... count as jio? i oso changed alot for her, frm crude to gentlemen, frm violent to caring, understanding and kind... but still she dun likes me.Anyway, confirm she noe i like her. whole sch noes. Friends persuaded me to give her up.. so finally during sec 3, i tried to like another gal, and i did... but i did not like her very long, coz later to noe tt her attitude sux, den i cant forget shinsian still... sec 3 yr end... i had a crush on another gal... which think lasted abot 3 mths... and yah... i still cant forget her... sec 4 xmas was the last present i gave her. I sort of forget wat are all the gifts i gave her liao... but u hear liao think u oso jealous 1 lah:p (ps, i'll nvr make the same gift twice even it's for another psn. the present, is 1 and only) haha, maybe next entry i write down all? haha

i tot i really loved shinsian... when 3rd love appeared, i noe im wrong... till now, i loved the 3rd deepest, and im hurt deeply too... her name is Juliana Tan Jing Xin. From poly, currently yr 3, same with me.

when i 1st joined wushu, she's a very crazy gal whom i deemed tt i confirm will not like... but den we became close friends, and den closer... to the point tt i loved her and i duno abot it... my friend asked me the qn once..."do u like her?" i answered a no... but it was later den i found tt i had fall for her. We got closer, and all thought tt we're together. yah... i knew tt too. We behave as if we're a couple. Alot of struggles b4 i dare to confess to her. She knew it, all along, juz tt she dun confirm. I stayed in SP for her, i did not go NP for the reason to here her answer. She do not not whether she loves me becoz i treat her gd, or is it she really loves me... we did not begin, but it ended soon... it was less than half a yr, she begins to dislike me... some actions of mine made her angry... we quarreled, i was hurt, she duno... she continues to hurt me, i continued to make her angry... to the point... now, she hates me... there's not much regret i have in life. But i got 2 in poly years. 1, going to china... 2... confessing to her... god had gave me chance to change... but i did not see it... i missed them, thus the 3rd wun come... she hates me now... and i started to dislike her too... coz she's behaving to childishly, she's showing her hate to me veyr wrongly...she put her hate in her wrk (wushu committee). she did not see wrk as wrk, personal as personal.
i dun wish to hate her. So pls, dun let her make me do so...

before she hates me... i knew the end of a friendship... i tried to keep it, mantain it... but it failed... i seems to make it worst. but she did not see my effort. my effort was made a waste.
i thought of giving her the last bday gift to give her. a 1m long titanic model, but i do not have the time now...

i thought of our friendship... it's juz like titanic..
Titanic, it's a sign of romance, a symbol of love... ever since the movie is screened...Our friendship is just like it, it's a representation of our relationship.It hit an iceberg and did not sink for a while... but later broke into two, sank, bringing everything down to the bottom of the ocean.It brought everything down with it, yet everybody remembered it... nobody forgets it, people still spends time to go near it...Our titanic, it broke, and sank, bringing down our friendship too.... but they're not forgotten... they're still remembered, at least by me...I wun forget its majestic, its happy moments, its climax, its beauty, its excitement, its fun, its laughter etc etc....i hope that u'll remember the friendship tt has sunk and nvr forget the moments we had... take some time... dive into the ocean and look at it again... how beautiful is Titanic, how beautiful is our friendship.....keep it in ur memory, let memories lit u....
there'll nvr be another titanic again in this world.............

before she hates me, there's another gal, yr 1, when im yr 2... her name is jade... i liked her when i saw her photo... den i got to noe her thru a friend. and den i met her by chance... and finally ate and chat wif her, and it hit out well...all these happened quick... i think i noe her less den a week (counting frm the 1st time we met) and i gave her a vday gift... too bad... im too late... my friend told me tt if she had met me a week earlier, she might choose me... a week b4... b4 i met her... she got attached... i can only wish her the happiest that she can have wif her stead... and if eva tt james brown bully Jade, he'll get it frm me. Jade Lai Yoke Yip, she's the 4th gal i luved....

in between all these loves... there are soooo many likes... but as i said, it's likes... i class them as likes, crush and den love... crush is a short period of love. and like... i can like everybody, as in friends like... but all loves and crush begins with a like... a like with a different feeling...

In poly... guess most of my friends heard of Juliana, Jade and lastly ShinSian... but recently a new gal came... i knew her think 2 weeks? she came to the NKF performance with my friend... i nvr really paid much attention to her... was bz back den... ive compiled the photos and videos we took, and she had a few problems viewing them... tt's how i get in contact wif her... i duno abot it... i felt the different feeling of like... but is it another likes between the loves? or will she be another love? or is it tooo fast for me to like another girl now? poly... 2 psn i loved... 1 yr, 1 gal... wah... to me... it's quite fast... does tt means im san xin er yi? does it mean tt im flirt? does it mean tt im not zuang yi?

today i show my friends her photo... Rouhui is her name... den asikin claimed... so who do u like now? tt sparks off my thought... yah... who do i like now? for all the gals i loved... i still loves them, i really do... and now... i loves the above few... and likes her now... so is it clear? im not sure... i only noe tt i like her now... but i duno which kind of like...

can anyone guide me or tell me wat im doing? wat shd i do? am i a flirt? or am i juz another guy with lots of nu ren yuan? or wat i dun wish tt i am... desperate?... troubled not only by sch wrk... but oso by love... ai qing ke wang... bu ke qiu...

...it's autumn time, 6:16 PM

today, im going to www with my frends, haix... but muz go Cixin teach art 1st... i requested for my lessons to bring forward and they brought it forward to 10am... i reached around 945 and hurried to cut the pieces of paper for the lessons...

suay... tis is the 2nd time i cut myself in the claz... even deeper den last time... den rushed to the toilet to clean up... in the end the whole toilet floor full of my blood...:p oopz

those kids (pri5-6) really she bu de ta men... they're so cute... (btw, i mean only the gals:p hahaha dun think im pervert, coz the gals are really more guai... the guys are much too noisy for me to take laio) anyway, they really giving me good and hard times...:p haha, but it's fun when i teach the claz... today is the 2nd last lesson liao... next yr they wun be coming back anymore (coz p6 is the highest level) and im going to stop teaching too... haix...

today i felt tt they missed me too:p haha... i came liao den they were like so happy and so excited to see me like tt... when i was teaching the origami... there's 1 student make a bet with me... she has 2 more steps to completion, & i gotta start frm scratch. the bet is if she wins, i muz come to the claz more often... i won in the end... sorry... im so bz wif my sch wrks and wushu tt i can hardly find time for myself and friends liao...

den there is another girl... yah, girl again:p haha i got lots of nu ren yuan as i admit:P she keeps holding her 7250 infront of me... waiting for my head to come up and take a pict...:p haha too bz to help around in the end i dun think i took the pict:p sorry once again

i hurried teaching finish and ended my claz at 1130... i rushed to the bus stop & rushed to the mrt... trying to go pasir ris meet leslie asap...:p

yah... reached there around 1230... late:p haha... den we go to www loh:P
so excited... i remember i have so much fun @ fantasy island... the moment i step inside... hahaha... i think it's quite fun!

we changed and started going to each stations and q and played...hm... duno leh... we got a feeling tt it's fun, but dun worth $12.50:p haha...yah, juz dun worth $12.50:p though the rides are interesting, but u muz noe "how to play" den can really have fun. summore ur accompaniance muz be rite too:p

den we went to the tsunami pool, the big wave 1... the wave started and les, zhong & cx keep swimming towards the 1.8m pt to touch the rope... while me, jiao and huimei keeps going backwards:p haha we poor swimmer mah... den moment later... guozhong was struggling in the water... we was watching and commented: "see... guozhong acting again"... he looks sooooo real... den the next moment i heard him shouting help, and the next, he was saved my the lifeguards:p

haha... see lah... always like to play... den now really drown liao ppl still think u playing:p anyway, later there was another accident where a kid knocked her head on the wall due to the waves...

den wasn't much laio... we went to eat, and all go home le...:p

...it's autumn time, 12:30 AM

my my... i spent an hr or so to modify this blog... arghz... still got some changes to do...

1) my background photo shall change, biangz, cant read those words...
2) the tagboard how to change font size? so big... den i saw others got colours oso:p how to do?
3) i wana change the text field size... but i forgot how liao...:p
4) how to put photo in when creating blog?

biangz... i learnt webpublishing and now all return back to lecturer laio...diaoz...

tml go wild wild wet:p hope it'll be fun:p
hehehe:p

...it's autumn time, 3:04 AM

a start of a new diary... and wat i begin with is not a happy beginning...

ive always been a enthusiast this 2 yrs towards wushu… but it’s getting lesser and lesser now..

everyday I go to the club house, I’ll have to face jul… actually not her, but her sound, her voice… whenever I speaks, she’ll do all those stupid mimicking sound tt really pissed me off… really…

haix… the girl tt I used to love is making me so angry tt now she really made me dun like her… and I think it’ll be sooner or later for me to reach the extend of hating her liao… why does she have to force me? Why do she have to be so childish? Why isn’t she the Juliana I know anymore? And most importantly… why she lied?

Jul… if u continue to do those mimicking, you’ll really be the 1st psn I hate liao… pls… dun make me do tt… but u couldn’t see this msg either…
Usual, wushu to me is relaxing… got friends like jiao and jul to cheer me… have games and trainings to play etc etc… but now jul hates me, jiao cant come near me… even training oso sianz liao… everybody like zombie… cant train lah, tired lah… no mood lah… all reasons… im one of them… training juz aren’t as fun anymore… but the kick of captain is still hooking me to wushu… every mon and fri, I juz waited to have tt half an hr of fun… it’s worth it… but really… disappointed in the club in the recent trainings… where are those people? Where did they go? No matter how mz I am, I did try to make it for training… why cant others… wushu club is no longer the club I knew, no longer the club I had fun with… hope that you guys out there, stress finish liao, find time relax…

Anyway, after training today, haha, went to watch I,Robot, haha it’s a GREAT!!!!! Show!!!!!!! Hahha… a muz watch…. Very cool!!!! And abit touching too u can say… at least it almost tricked me into crying sia:p haha… if u really go thought trhough wat they converse, biangz… u’ll find tt this show is soooo nice and hm… really says abot emotions and feelings… great portray of heart and robots.

...it's autumn time, 4:31 AM

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