Everyday is a sunny day!

damn... was happily in the morning greeting friends on msn b3fore going to school...
and all was dampened down juz by 1 reaction...

does it means that every time now i call a person out to watch movie, even saying a good morning means im having a motive????-_-"

this is sickening...

what does it mean by my status changed already? do i even need to declare wat i wana say b4 chatting?

Status change... what does it mean by status change? Means i do this job den i cant talk to you as a friend? so next time if im a millionaire den those who are not cannot talk to me as a friend ah?-_-" even a gd mrning greeting can be seen as having ulterior motive... oh pls!... putting this barrier against me is like next time i muz put a sign in front of me... i come in peace when i juz talking to a friend-_-" den wat for? and u know me for how many years-_-' for the win...

This is so sickening and disappointing... foreseeing even more disappointments like this as time goes... arghz... sometimes really question what is friends... doing something that they like juz to talk? i think tt's even worse...

To make things clear... even when u buy house/renovation, and even insurance... who do u first look for? ur friend or juz a random company u see on screen? think of it... im not even forcing u to do anything...

...it's autumn time, 9:51 AM

down down down down down......

what's the song name of these lyrics?

these 2 days the nails ive been hitting is like non stop... not only causing the upsetting feelings and also the disappointments im having...

people keep flying me planes like tix are free... i mean if you cant make it, or dun wana make it, juz let me know earlier lah... not as if im pointing a gun at you and den force u to come... if cant make it today, den juz another would do. If dun wana come den juz say loh... why have to wait till last min den fly plane? coz this really destroys so much plans tt ive been making, trying to make arrangements of mine and others to meet and den plus assignment and stuffs... coz of 1 plane... my effort spent on prev would be lost... but the more important thing is im wasting my time again and again... dun get it...

am i ranting? yes i am... like this is the only source where i can juz verbal vomit out all the stuffs im sian of and start afresh again...

even more disappointed when im being doubted by friends that lasted for the last 7yrs... being warned and stuffs... why am i even being threatened with the cost of friendship on the line???-_-" tt juz shows how 'trustable' i am ah?... it's really kind of wierd when you joined something where your friends dun like... wierdly to say... those u least expect to doubt u will start to do so... and those tt u least expect to trust you actually did!...

juz felt quite disappointed when she said those things off her message... tried defending my point... but i guess quite useless as well... if i dun meant her gd... i wun even bother to try...
If it is nthing gd... i wouldnt even say a word abot it to you...

putting yourself in my shoes... all i need is some support and not doubt... if you hate this den i hate it even more... who loves the feeling of being doubt? especially from a long known friend? if i know how you feel abot it... den maybe u can try knowing how i feel...

few more days to the end of the mth... some targets are meant to be met... for the sake of my initial goals... for the sake of what i wanted for my family... i juz have to learn from it and try getting up again...

...it's autumn time, 1:25 AM

And you think that i know alot of girls, being closer is good?

well... sometimes if you look at another perspective... you might see why guys hates me more... and why some girls finds me wierd... and even flirts!...

quite sad tt ive received this remark recently... juz coz im going out wif girls alone... but seriously... wat are the chances that im not? i really do have alot more girl friends den guys...

haix...

...it's autumn time, 3:57 AM

被误解却不能做辩解。
心里的承重只能用沉默带过。
只希望你能在城堡里受保护。
原因只是我想为你付出过。

～独不悦好比众不悦。

...it's autumn time, 12:10 AM

Are you afraid of health problem?

Actually i do... now... juz before i start typing this entry, my brain suddenly went 'bonkers'... imagine someone swings ur brain hard to the left and all of a sudden u cant orientate urself... tt's wat i get...

not the 1st time getting this symptom... had these for 2 yrs liao... since i started uni... getting more and more serious, but not frequent oso... maybe i got some clotting in da brainnnnnn... but well... not a worry for now... coz i wun be able to do any CT scan... coz it's freaking ex...

take care of urself well... why? coz really duno accident come 1st or tml come 1st... damn got feeling abot this... coz juz now when i going out... another accident almost happened again on me... WTF!

Usually at this pedestrian crossing, i will juz cross when i see tt far away got no cars coming... coz it's juz a short 10m... but today... i duno why, i instinctly stopped for awhile b4 wanting to cross... den the next thing i noe is a pick up e braked in front of me. (actually not in front, but opp lane)... if i crossed, i'll be directly under the wheel liao... and i almost crossed as well... why? COZ THE PEDESTRIAN IS ON GREEN!... tt freak driver wana chiong red light...-_-"

though not a christian or catholic, but muz still say thank god... haha... seriously... this few issues always let me know tt i seriously dun have much time left... i really got alot of stuffs i wana complete doing and achieve b4 anything bad happened... not to me... but my parents...

i guess all normal family kid will have this kind of feeling tt u owed ur parents alot... or at least something... and u always try to do something to make up for it... tell u wat... it's impossible to make up all tt they've given us=p hahaha... but do wat u can to be gd to them ba=) im trying my best to breakthrough as well=)

Take care of ur health! so u can take care of them oso=)

...it's autumn time, 1:12 AM

Family Problems

Two men, one American and an Indian were sitting in a bar drinking shot after shot...

The Indian man said to the American, 'You know my parents are forcing me to get married to this so called homely girl from a village whom I haven't even met once.. We call this an arranged marriage. I don't want to marry a woman whom I don't love... I told them that openly and now have a hell lot of family problems.'

The American said, "Talking about love marriages... I'll tell you my story.."

" I married a widow whom I deeply loved and dated for 3 years. 'After a couple of years, my father fell in love with my step-daughter and married her, so my father became my son-in-law and I became my father's father-in-law..

Legally now my daughter is my mother and my wife's my grandmother..

More problems occurred when I had a son. My son is my father's brother and so he is my uncle. Situations turned worse when my father had a son. Now my father's son, my brother is my grandson. Ultimately, I have become my own grand father and I am my own grandson..

And you say you have family problems........"

The Indian fainted.....!!!

...it's autumn time, 2:05 AM

It's impossible to satisfy all... a bad habit i always failed to kick away... always trying to keep everyone happy in the end 1 party muz be angry and in the end myself oso felt sianz and guilty...

might as well juz ignore in the 1st place?...-_-"

...it's autumn time, 1:34 PM

haha... seems like blogging habit is back? or it just happened to have things to say?

today... quite a few things happened... and made me realised afew things... if u happened to read this, well, maybe u might wana give some thots?

Today i have a lesson 2pm @ tiong bahru (Hana Academy) when i went to take the train, i realised tt ive been waiting for v long and no train arrives! it's den i realised tt today mrt@Jurong east will not be functioning...-_-" damn... come to think of it... my mum reminded me few days ago... duangz...

im running late, so i had no choice but go to atm, withdrew cash and went to wait for cab... den 2nd duangz... i realised it's freaking peak hrs on sat!!!
i had to walk for a few places in the hope for cab but in the end i went to the taxi stand still...

so anxious and needa hurry, i quietly prayed for a cab to come while trying to call for a cab. wat's idiotic is that u're queueing... yet there are others who saw u, and went to the front part, hoping tt they could get the cab b4 me... -_-" singaporeans... and 1 really got on to it... damn-_-"

but well... in the end at 150pm... i got my cab... the uncle is very nice... coz i was sick and i keep sneezing and he offered me tissue!... damn nice=p
but i was really really sorry for wat happened later...

coz we got into a crash!... i not really sure wat happened coz im reading the news wat all happened in juz a matter of seconds... i wasnt wif seat belt and was sitting in the middle back seat... i wasnt hurt... but the head of the taxi was flat... and the engine is dead... juz got afew scratches... but well... ive really gotta consider tt im lucky... coz it;'s the 2nd collision accident i had this year... few mths ago in fact... im glad im still living...

really... u wun noe which will come 1st... accident, or tomorrow... ppl... cherish!...

well... not the point... point is tt uncle is really v nice... coz it's not his fault to me... coz it's the 2 car ahead e brake... i think he really quite innocent, but i got to know from yanwei that the last car in the accident will definitely be at fault (coz no safety distance) and ahead got 2 cars... he'll have to pay all...
it's quite WTH... i know coz i experienced this ridiculous rule b4... for some bloody psn's mistake, we had to pay!... (the one tt i had to pay was the repair for the whole can when i only got a plastic casing off his van-_-)

The uncle keep apologising to me... den gordon & yanwei (who juz nice oso on AYE... fetched me and went for the class)... i think one very wrong thing i didnt do was to take the uncle's number... thot i might be able to help him somehow... at least, i wasnt hurt coz he did brake enuff for a collision tt doesnt kill...

after claz was gathering at TCC... asked weibin and gary along but they cant come=( but another friend came. yisi. haha... a girl with great potential in her dreams=)... sometimes... there are some ppl when u talk to u feel a kind of special bonding... tt's the kind of feeling i had for her... she's 16 this year... so dun think too far... i juz felt that she's a sister to me, juz like kaixuan rane and mingxian=)

I think i had a really gd time at TCC today... juz chats and playing around wif my niece and nephew...

den at night... my friend told me some things tt i duno... well... it's a blind spot which i wun be able to know... and yet ppl doesnt wana tell me... but i think it's abot perspective... It really sucks when ppl duno you and misunderstands u and they juz take it like tt...

Im claimed to be taking others who helped me for granted... and im really baffled by this thot that my friend told me. well, the fact she tells me this is that she's my friend le... so those im taking for granted are not my friends=p lol!~

no lah!... i was baffled... coz she say film ppl... and i thot through... who the hell helped me and i take for granted? in fact... im being scolded for helping too much in sch!... really dun get it... till now i only made 1 film.... those are done onyl wif 3 psn, me wenkai and xinni... and i think we helped each other alot... frm props making to even casting...

others? i got myself into freaking big trouble, had to liase to supervisors on film equipments, rent lorry and get into 'accident', travel up and down to transport ppl's prop to location and not slping coz of the trips... so who actually helped me and i didnt know when i gave so much to others?? i think whoever who made tt claim is really irresponsible and definitely duno me at all.

Maybe it might be coz of antoher claim... saying i help girls more readily and when guys approached for help i gave attitude especially abot getting equipments... den all the more im baffled...coz i dun handle equipments at all!-_-" other den steadicam which coz the supervisor only allowed me and 2 others to use, and when they need me i was still there to help them ah!... but yah.... gotta admit tt i help girls more readily, since i seriously have more girl friends den guys.

maybe it's like wat Loreen/Yisi has faced in sch last time ba... they had more guys friend den girls... and wat they had was backstabbed and badmouthed...

well... maybe im facing the same too... but watever the case is... i wun be emoing of this matter ba... coz i really dun find tt im like tt... taking ppl for granted when they helped... den when my friend is telling me this, she cant give example nor can she name anyone... it's like telling u that u have a blindspot but not telling u where-_-" but anyway...

to end this off, this is going to be damn random... im really envy of loreen's bf... coz she's so pretty on the outside, beauty on the inside... so understanding and even to the extend of thinking for her 'mother-in-law' lol... go bf's house clean his room when he's overseas.. kudos!... come come... who wana clean my room?

lol... i think i will be thrown a bucket of water and cloth=p

...it's autumn time, 3:04 AM

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