Tuesday, May 31, 2005

... was it the around the same time last year?... im not sure... but the feeling is certainly the same...

last year... when seniors in their final year... when im still in my year 2... when semester is ending... suddenly... alot of them attached... attached as in stead... not ITP...

wat's the feeling looking at your friends getting their partner while you're still single?... i wonder... na zhong kong kong de gan jue... u got feel b4?

anyway, i felt happy for them for finding their partner... but at the same time... i'll try to be happy:) haha...

~ im no longer the yr 1 weng... where my mood swings 366 days... ~ :)

...it's autumn time, 8:08 PM

Friday, May 27, 2005

juz ended a mahjong session... muz faster blog b4 my eyes close...

quite a fun session i think, but quite ex too... felt like ive sabohed gary... oh no... now he owe even more $$-_-" haix... anyway oso duno why so crazy play mahjong thru the nite leh... my mind was rite... and yes... my mind wasnt rite at all...

bad things does happen... they was claiming tt my "friend" has taken some of those chips yang brought to play... alamak... next time cannot say my room got "friend" liao lah... if not nobody come my house... i will cry 1 sia... my room was made in da purpose where friends can come my room and felt comfy 1 leh...

so no more "friends" but more friends come ok?:)

anyway the "purpose" wasnt in mahjong... i oso duno why... somehow i juz followed the "trend"... but oso not gd... coz i got a feeling tt im starting to control my feeling again... coz i got doubts... and im afraid... afraid tt my stupid mistake will cause me to lose a friend again...

anyway... the training wasnt bad, actually quite fun instead... ive learnt Wu Long Jiao Zhu liao... but i wasnt very very happy lah... coz i learnt it too late... i wasnt able to perform anymore... so now the only way for me to keep my passion in wushu is to be a coach... but the worse thing is... i cant take my intiative to train harder... i slacked... omg... i really dun wana juz stop here... how...

club matters wasnt getting frm bad to worse... i cant believe wat laiheng said to me... and im really out of words for him liao... frm the 1st day he become VP i already got doubts abot him liao... but they say muz give him chance to show u wat he can do mah... ok... chance i give him laio... and tell ya wat... the result is disappointing... 1 value... responsiblity... he lacks tt... pls lah... stop pushing blames to others loh... sianz.... but oso can do nthing abot it... tt's their committee liao... no more mine... arghz... alumni form liao oso cant do nthing much... even worse...

blah... nvm...

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ystrday went for the choc buffet after wrk... kena cheated... bleah... heng weiting nvr go... if not she'll kill me... sorry to qi, yang, weibin his gf and hong... i oso duno it's like tt... so next time muz learn wiser... not those famous place, dun go... -_-" (oh yah... where is weiting ah? wrking ah?)

eh... the choc... erm... yah... like weibin said... homemade choc... biagnz! where got homemade... diaoz... we think tt it's like go NTUC buy 1 loh...-_-" anyway the place isnt really bad... the bad 1 is the organiser... made tt place look so pathetic...

anyway also buy tix liao... sad oso go in, happy oso go in... so we made the best out of it:) and so that means???? photos:p haha...


weiyang kissing panda bear, huiqi bu gan shi luo:p


yang wana fight... qi oso:p


sleepy... no strength to edit liao... sorry for not making it look better


oso chop chop do 1...

we didnt stayed on long... coz really nthing much... *** next time dun believe 100% in newspaper, not even 70% when it comes to such event... really tio cheated... 1st time i felt tt i really cheated:p haha... but nvm... heng i nvr go myself... if not i wun even enter...

after tt we walked to singapore river... yang and qi in the front... eh... i walk slow let u 2 er ren shi jie leh... biangz... keep wanting me to walk faster... my leg got lemon loh... den later they got "something" again?-_-" duno them lah... suddenly suddenly 1... so i juz paced up in the end...

stayed at s'pore river... looked at the reverse bungy thing... lied down on the floor... legs in the air... lol... no lah... there's no railings mah... so put my legs rite to the end of the wall... getting river breeze... and i fell asleep...

den when i woke up... i blur mah... den they say i dun anti social leh... oso dun stay in my own world of ******... eh... lol... who's staying in their own world huh?... hahha...

anyway... had tis chance to take tis photo when im lying down... no photoshop edited... quite nice i think... but damn... my hand is blurred:(





遥远的天空，是我的手触摸不到的地方。爱情也是否如此？


den watched the news... abot rabbits getting abandoned and the rate is getting higher... eh... really ah... i wanted to adopt those rabbits 1 loh... but i always cant... why? coz they wana screen the family 1st... all members muz like/agree to accept the rabbit den they allow u to adopt... summore they'll interview u on whether u got time etc etc anot... machiam like choose wife...

sianz... tt's why i can nvr adopt if need such thing... coz confirm my mum is 1 who dun agree liao... she scared of everything 1... tt's why i bought my hamsters 1st b4 telling her...

NS... after NS den i earn abit money liao den i'll start to build the gigantic cage im wishing for... hehhe... den i can have guinea pigs, hamsters, gerbils, rabbits, cats, dogs lol... wahaha...

...it's autumn time, 2:18 AM

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

today wrking... but ystrday nvr slept well... biangz... 2 times go wrk 2 times nvr sleep well... hopefully tonite will be peaceful... but i can only hope... coz something disturbed me today...

after wrk, i went to find huimei to pass her stuff... den was juz shopping around suntec... den when i was going down the escalator... i saw jul... i chua tio! den of coz scared lah... den she saw me...

she changed frm a smiling face and diao away frm me... the way she changed her face can only be described as... faster den lightning, quicker den thunder...

biangz... it's been so long liao loh!... 2 yrs le ba... even ive learn to let go... why cant she? sianz... friend might really not meant to be used btwn me and her anymore...

...it's autumn time, 8:11 PM

wrking tml 8am... muz faster blog tis...

k, ystrday went to the zoo:p quite fun ba... but got lots of -_- moments... and lots of self enterainment... yuan lai self entertainment is so tiring 1...

mrning met them at CCK and had breakfast at mac, after tt den go zoo liao... got ben&jerry ice cream... i swear next time if im eating it again, i make sure i use cup... lol... the ice cream was cold, but not for long, it juz keep melting and worse-_- it leaked at the bottom of the cone... lol... i surrender to it:p ahaha...

so wat's the -_- moments? of coz it's not btwn me and norman... is wif qi and weiyang lah:p they very diaoz 1:p haha... duno wat to say abot them... read their blog see wat they say loh:) i oso bu fang bian to say anything...

k fei hua shao shuo... i give u some entertainment:p picxxxxxxx:)


oooh... kawaiiiii ne? small small cute cute de Babary sheep (hehe... huiqi duno how sheep looks like:p now u noe?)


i trying to kiss her... lol~ nah... if i dare to do tt den means i not scared death liao:p


wah... so hungry... wana eat grass... mmmmm.... tasty:p


izzit? come... i oso try:)


qi says tt monkey in the sack looks like anna:p lol... i say next time buy plastic bag give anna play:p lol~


OYOYO!!! im the mOnKeYgOd!!~~


biangz... i muz not only learn how to smile... but oso how to pose... i look so damn ugly...


qi and lizard try to do french kissssssss


family of otters:p


qi the naughtiest... she trying to pull the tail of tt monkey... anna, faster run, dun let her pull:p


norman is no better... sitting on a tortoise


wah... the fated place... meant for wedding:)


the well tt makes wishes come true...

me and norman made a wish there and it came true... haha... but it didn't last very long either... muz be our coins not enuff...


pls do not feed or tease the monkeys


Norman:"you sure??!!?? " pls read again...


the most disgusting pic of the day... a slug eating a worm


qi wishes for...~




me and tt yandao


weiyang shou bu liao already, so he go kiss the yandao


after an hour or so of editing... finally i got weiyang taking pic wif goat...

sianz... i think my standard of manipulating is really dropping...


got watch tian long ba bu? haha... im Duan Yu and i noe LiuMaiShenJian... noe howto use internal energy to force water out of my finger:p


norman:"ahhhh....~ im relieved...~"


norman trying to act cool... biangz... wat's tt on ur leg?-_-"

kk... after tt i took bus to woodlands instead... lol... den change to mrt-_-" anyway i think it's gd tt i did tt... coz my sis phoned me to borrow glove to go ice skating:p lol... den i feel sian sian... so joined her and my relatives go:p hahah

ICESKATING!
1 word to phrase it all! SHIOK! haha... got 2 yrs nvr go skating le... and the feeling of skating again is shiok! especially when u go faster and faster:p zi you zi zai...:) too bad i dun have accompany... if not confirm even better:)

skate till i song:p skate the hell out of me:p destress... relieved... sianzness still there but it's better:) hey peeps! i'll jio u all go skating ah! anna! june 8th rite? lol be prepared:p haha... rh too! amanda qi yang norman weiting waiteng too:p :) wushu ppl oso!!! haha...

skate for 4 hrs... but the last hr is fatal:p lol.... think of something too deep, den accidentally break and FAlLllLllLlllll.... haha... but i got skill:p so dun hurt at all:p fall 2 times:p but not wet at all:) hehe skill hoh:p
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
den today went out in search of present and bag... sianz... the bag i wan at JP is sold... den JP no more bag i wan laio... even if got it's like damn ex... but heng i got kaixuan's gift le:) haha...

den i went to PS watching star wars wif wushu friends:) they went to eat while i go shopping... and YES!!! i found the bag tt i wanted!!! lol~ but they only got blue colour... i told them to help me reserve 1st:p juz in case i cant find other colours at westmall or so...

anyway the movie was great:) though i cant really relate it well enuff, but i noe wat's going on... yess.... 1st time watch those series movie and i understand w/o watching other eps:p

anyway master Yoda was great... the way he speaks... wah... cool:p den he so old liao, still so agile leh:p mai siao siao:p haha...

k... now... sleep, i muz. else late tml, i will be:p ehehhe


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ive once told a friend, tt some ppl are jus t meant to go back to their old self but she's defintely not 1 of them...

maybe tis might be using on me... some ppl are just meant to be single and i might be just the one who's meant to be...

...it's autumn time, 1:24 AM

Sunday, May 22, 2005

hm... today was quite a "surprising" day?...

woke up at 9am...

surprised to see my sis's friend in the living room when i stepped out of my room...

surprised tt my sis is trying to cook today... and her cookbook is her home econs book

not-so "surprise" nagging in the mrning

went to clean clubhouse, on the way, den saw sec sch friend.... Shihui

den surprising we chatted... coz last time we dun really talk alot 1:p den we got chat on shinsian...

clean clubhouse... ended surprisingly early... around 2pm den we finished liao!~

go for lunch, surprised tt KFC has closed... so went to CO op instead

slacked at club, play chess... den went to meet anna they all at harbourfront... and i waited surprisingly longggg:p lol~

i thot tt i'll be waiting for around 3 or 4 buses den they'll come out from sentosa liao... but IM WRONG! lol... i think i waited around 12 or more buses... not counting in tt i fall asleep and missed... lol...

eat liao den go home... on train... anna go crazy... start slapping meeeeee!~ eh... nue dai!~ lol... but i oso not at the losing end:p come! Anna! im prepared the next time round liao! lol~:p

go home oso nthing much... till juz now... SHINSIAN ONLINE! haha surrrprisssedddd:p she's in taiwan now, on a dance course den plus shop lah:p haha, next time when meet old friends muz talk abot her, den she'll online:p hahahha...

quite missed her... but oso no use, she wun miss me too... haha... tt's it for today, next week is full of prgrms for me again! 1 more mth b4 i going in! i muz enjoy myself to the fullest!~ make up for everything i did not enjoy in my yr 2:) haha

...it's autumn time, 12:57 AM

Thursday, May 19, 2005

hey... i finally got a job liao... thx to yongxiong...

wrking at suntec, some sort of cleaner ba... sorting soiled table cloth napkins etc frm banquets and restaurants den dispatch them to laundry... etc etc... basically it's labour wrk:p hehe... something that im looking for...

if u think by going suntec u might be able to find me... nah... coz im wrking at B1 and B2...:p but u can go there find me after wrk:p hehe... wrking frm 8am-430pm... gd wrking hrs... best is i can choose my schedule...:p so wrk, still can play:p tt's da best:p lol...

pay wasn't tt bad either, $5.50 per hr... the only bad think abot the job is that quite sianz... muz sleep fully the nite b4, if not will be like today... wrk halfway den keep nodding my head:p and really... we stood thru the whole 8hrs:p

den abot my sis... great... she noe more or less of her results liao... i nvr hear properly... but i think she only passed 4 subjects...-_- and she's proud of it-_-" sit down there on sofa watching TV wif her ice cream by her mouth...

it's either she come to realise that she need to pass her academic b4 she can go anywhere... or she can jolly well go wrk b4 she's going to ITE... wth... she think she very clever, study the nite b4 the test, summore is tt nite den call her friends wat chapter to study-_-" den day b4 exam can jio ppl come home watch movie, make a mess out of the house den slack... at nite den say "i preparing exams"... she think she's me?! at least i did prepare much earlier b4 hand loh!... she's not stupid... ... ... duno wat to say abot her... forget it... haix...

i can see 1 more burden... not sch fee burden... but something even worse...

...it's autumn time, 10:02 PM

today quite a normal day ba... except...

hm... let's see... 1 thing to be glad abot today is that i nvr join u all for clubbing:p lol... coz i kena diarrhea... yet again:p

heng ah... if not i whole day looking for toilet... lol...

muz be either the mc spicy i ate for dinner or the digestive biscuit i ate ystrday caused the prob...

k... happy bday aunty again:p lol... tml gotta wrk... labour wrk... hopefully im satisfied wif it:) wish me luck:p

...it's autumn time, 12:32 AM

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

wth... juz got to noe tt some junior of mine like another junior of mine... boy and girl lah... diaoz...

diaoz becoz they say it's so obvious tt the guy like the gal... but i was like...??? huh? got meh?-_- im really poor at looking at such thing? peixuan is like tt... jul is like tt... weibin is like tt... alamak... suan le ba... im and i'll always be the last to noe abot such stuffs...

anyway... juz inform me abot who and who is together can liao... dun like to be jing di zi wa(frog in the well) u noe:p lol... blessing all who are already together... and those who are still in da process of getting together... and those who are starting to get into the process of getting together... lol:P

...it's autumn time, 2:37 AM

so after i go back to sleep... i woke up again at noon... practically lethargic... missed 3 meals... and i got no strength to wake up and cook... so continued to sleep... and that's a very wrong method to choose...-_-"

woke at around 3 again... biangz... tis time i totally hungry till i tremble laio... not a gd sign... spent so much energy go downstairs get snicker bar den yesssss... im cured... lol... pls ppl, if u miss meals, dun miss till u cant move like me... lol... i used to it liao:p so got energy go buy food:p lol~

anyway today was so sianz... i whole day got the impression of my mum nagging in my ear... when i switch on the radio, it's her... when i closing the door, it's her... when i eating my snicker bar, it's her... wah lau... nitemare... she didnt nag today... think she gave up on me... better still... i oso quite shou bu liao her nagging anymore...

now trying to look for super part time job... coz i got less den a mth to wrk... haix... giving up soon sia... u noe why i noe im giving up? coz im starting to plan go where go where liao... not a very gd sign... coz i forecast naggings again:p...

short, tt's it... today is a lethargic and sianz day... *** advice dun sleep so much... no gd no gd... lol

...it's autumn time, 12:50 AM

Monday, May 16, 2005

542am in da mrning... and im blogging... and the only reason is... i juz woke up not long ago:p lol... nah.... i woke up an hr ago, around 430am... when i slept at... around 1230pm ystrday? lol~ is PM, not AM hoh:p lol...

kk, abot da chalet, not a VERY fun chalet, but it was fun:p lol... at least im saved from 2 days of nagging and had some fun myself...
oooh... it's raining outside again... suddenly... lol~

the 1st eva farewell chalet organised by the graduates... lol... (1st farewell org by leslie, 2nd is me... and the 3rd is us:p) but maybe like weibin said... coz not all graduating mah... so it's a farewell chalet not organised by the "grads" lol... but i do hope tt u passed ur summer school ah... the rest... too bad... u all confirm liao... so hopefully u all BETTER dun forward/retain anymore modules!

k, 1st day of chalet... xiong... i reached home frm ktv at around 130am the day b4... den i gotta wake at 7am... coz gotta go sch take some chalet stuffs frm club, den go meet them at bedok to buy the food stuffs...

bought too much stuffs and so we decided to go sentosa via taxi...

we reached there at around 130pm... and the psn say we cant check in yet, the room's not ready, so we waited for another 15 mins b4 we can check in... and we got sianz...... coz they say they have no more pits for us to book... WTH!!!! we bought the food liao leh!~~...

so after much sought.... we might have a pit after all... we might get a pit w/o lights at nite...

no choice... rather have a pit den no pit at all...:p

1st day was really sianz... actually i was abit of disappointed by the room size lah, coz the last time i went wasnt so small leh... but nvm, i quickly got over it anyway... coz i wana go the beach! lol.... but they dun want... they wana clask in da room... so i oso nvr go loh, 1 psn go beach oso duno do wat... hm... we played risk and do wat i oso forgot le... not in da mood ya...

den after tt when some ppl came liao, we got hungry and decided to go sakae eat... (lol... at 1st i regret not to go eat wif qi and yang... but after i read their blog liao, heng i nvr go eat wif them, coz they like not eating loh! lol~ summore if i go, haha, i really destroying their moments man!~ lol)

anyway... why i regret... coz i spent $16~ wah... sianz... i thot i go for buffet better:p lol... anyway i ordered chawamushi, sansai udon, and tako shashimi... ooh... shiok, i got full anyway:p lol, coz i got more sashimi frm eugene... lol... he treated us:p lol.... but i still prefer my tako sashimi:p niceeeee:p haha... when a psn is full, he's happier:p lol, and tt's me:p

eugene got himself a very nice dessert... ice creammmmmmmmm... arghz... i was broke after the dinner... actually i left wif $0 liao... lol... but oso lazy to go draw money... so the rest of the day was me and my atm card only... lol...

bin said jiao was empty already... den hong juz grabbed her and i helped too... lol... and yeah! she's wet... lol~ actually da plan was way off wat we planned at 1st:p but nvm:p lol~

went back chalet, changed to beach wear and off we got to the beach... haha. are u wondering? why are we going to beach after dinner??? lol... yeah:p we played nite volley:p lol~ finally gotten my wish to play volley (oh no... i got the addicition to volley too?)

lol... though it's nite, but i still can see the ball leh, the rest were complaining they cant see the ball... haha... but as time goes, we played better lah:p (we played the circle 1, coz all duno how to paly volley 1) anyway the nite was like the ball flying very high and gary running around to catch the ball... lol~ was fun actually to play nite volley:p after tt abit sianz liao we changed to captain ball... but not very long, coz weibin wana stable the chair on sand but he stepped too hard and broke the chair instead! lol... we hid it behind the boulder and quickly went off to 7-11 liao... lol

den they went back to chalet... while me jiao & sam went to play photo hunt... i was really tired out till i actually slept while playing... lol~:p

go back chalet, bath... wah...shiok... den slacked around... at 1st wana go 7-11 again, coz i wana get some sand frm palawan beach... but damn... it started to rain... and so i juz stayed inside... den we played mahjong... got sianz very fast... den leslie came, we played money... haha... got abit more wake...

the nite was full of noises... leslie keep talking loudly non-stop... den got ppl snore loudly... they snored till like having car racing like tt! hahaha... den got ppl farted in their sleep... blah blah blah... and we played till some 6am in da mrning... they woke up and went some mrning wrk out & some went to play badminton... rain again... sianz... we got stucked at the hall and i slept there instead... till finally rain finish we went back and i got my turn on the bed... the rest went playing at arcade i think...

i woke up already near 1 liao... and YES! beach again:p lol... no courts to use + too many ppl, so we play the circle 1 again... lol... den after tt go jump water... captain ball... den finally sian liao, so went back to chalet, i go photo hunt again:P lol... while the rest took their turn bathing...

yeah! we finally can out our names on tt machine!!! lol... think we spent afew bucks juz to hit the high score and put our names there... lol~den we go back prepare for the BBQ liao... hm... they were swimming in da pool... but i guess i not joining them... i go prepare bbq:p

juz like the room, the pit is small... haha, but nvm:p our mood isnt small at all:p loL~ BBQing at around 5i think.... early hoh? but no choice:P we dun have lights at nite:p lol...the cooks were me and eugene at 1st... den i got hungry and tired so changed:P i grilled some egg tofu and wah... next time BBQ muz have egg tofu hoh! den eugene made some fishes too... we put lemon on it and wow!~ it's nice!... bbq wings... den supper got dumplings (hehe... by me again:p) lol~ filling tt's all i can say! lol...

den stop for awhile, went to eat ice cream:p slack den go back bbq again:p

actually i typed very long laio hoh? quickly end tis... den they had some santa claus game whereby the 2 psn playing cant move at all.... the it got into climax when eugene and junxiang is playing, both were like wax, really nvr move at all! till it started to rain again so they stop playing... cant collect sand again...

had my bath, we watched 2 movies on channel 8, den got into mahjong again... a nite of laughter once more, coz tis time we're tired already and our state of mind wasnt well... so we laugh at the most simplest thing tt happened:p haha...

played till mring, pack up and checked out... went to mac for breakfast and slept there... they wanted to go play LAN but i nvr follow... i was sleeping when walking liao...

got home slept... and now woke up loh:p guess i really shagged, 15hrs of sleep... and im going to sleep summore;P lol... kena bite by duno wat ystrday... now my arm swollen... wth...

...it's autumn time, 5:42 AM

Friday, May 13, 2005

wah... finally reached home at 130am... lol...

today went bedok to buy the food stuffs for chalet tml... really... $200 for 40 ppl of food... i think not enuff... but since they say enuff... den enuff loh:p lol... but anyway in the end i oso nvr stayed to buy the food wif them...

coz meeting qi and da rest at woodlands... went there for KTV actually:p

actually coughing le... sing till i oso cant cough anymore... no voice le:p lol... gdgd... so i noe how to cure my cough next time:p lol... quite fun singing... coz i dun really needa dedicate songs:p haha... coz i can accompany them sing always:p nice:p muz say qi and weiting veyr gd singer sia... no choice...:p gals have greater range of voice? lol...

anyway... we sang till too late... heng i got in time for my last train to jurong... BUT I DIDNT GET MY LAST TRAIN TO BOONLAY!!!

tt explains why i reach home at tis time:p lol... luckily, im saved by a feeder bus which brought me to somewhere near lakeside, so i no need to walk so far after all...

tired... beta go sleep now, tml still needa go bedok help them take food...

pls pls pls... when i wake tml, my mum wun nag me....

...it's autumn time, 1:50 AM

Thursday, May 12, 2005

6am in the mrning... when outside is still raining... im still shivering on my bed...

i was woken up... by the bright lights in my room... and a voice that breaks the silence...

she came in, nagged at me... no... it's scolding tis time... she scold me... and left the room...

thanks... thanks for look so little of me... 原来在你眼中，我只是如此而已...


she came in... pulled me away from my sleepness... and started scolding...
i left a note saying that i'll be going for chalet tml... i guess i did the correct thing... if i say a week b4... i guess i would be blogging this last week and something new and unhappy today...

why do i only noe how to play?... why i so big liao still duno how to think? Not say i nvr go chalet b4... i go so many times liao why still go? why couldn't i find any job? why i so not responsible? she kan bu guo the way im doing now...

thanks... yuan lai im so poor in you... tell ya wat... u're not the only 1 disappointed... im more disappointed in you... today den i noe... yuan lai i dun even worth much a cent in you... thx so much for letting me noe...

i always thot... im the son of tis family... the only 1 who actually had studied till poly... the 1 who had to be a model of my cousins and niece... i thot you all will think highly of me... looks like im juz bluffing myself again and again ah?...

so actually im juz any other small small psn in ur life... and to think you're disappointed in me?... i was more disappointed and upset in you...

she left the room... the room was a very cold and lonely place already in the beginning... now with the cold weather outside... it seems even colder... then... i felt warmth... coz i pulled out my blanket and cover myself up...

warmth... that's the thing lacking in the house i guess... come to think of it... i noe wat's care, i noe wat's concern and i saw and i probably felt it in the family... but warmth... wat is warmth? the only warmth i felt is when im under my thick thick blanket... warmth is sense of security, it's a feeling whereby you felt that staying in it, you're protected from the coldness outside, it's a feeling telling you that you're safe and sound and you can feel peaceful...

i nvr had that feeling b4...

wat do you need to do to give warmth?... i wonder... or how do i accept warmth if im wrong...

2months is not a very long period of time... it always happened to me ever since i noe... 有得必有失，有喜必有愁...

ive experienced happiness... now it's time for sad... when they finish canceling off each other... everything will start again...

juz suddenly felt tt the family sux... i juz dun wana go home anymore...

im not upset... im juz disappointed... disappointed that im of so little to her... disappointed that she looked at me tis way... disappointed that im no different to those cousins of mine...

stayed at the window... wif the mrning sky still dark... the rain still fall... 8th floor wasnt so high afterall... i miss my mum(not tis 1)...

...it's autumn time, 6:52 AM

actually nth to much to blog abot...

after i noe tt im not wrking... my prgrms starts to lined up again... haix...

1 side wana play, the other side wana find work... how come i can stuck in tis kind of dilemma?... i think i shd stuck in a more problematic dilemma mah...

anyway... i already gave up much hope on finding work liao... left wif 1 mth plus wrk... oso duno where got... or where to look for...

think better concentrate on writing up my script for my next short film... seriously hope tt it'll be my success:p

fri is chalet... and my cough not gone yet... i think after chalet i sure cough and cough and my mum will nag and nag again... sianz... once i think tt she'll nag again... i sianz liao... how come parents likt to nag so much? especially when u told them already tt they're naggy?...

gary put his nick: parents are the best when they dun nag...

seriously... it really applies to me... my parents is really da best when they dun nag...

today i stayed at home... cleaned the house, wash the toilet, washed the clothes etc etc... and the moment my mum came home... she nagged...

"today nvr go out look for job?", "why nvr go?", "why u so lazy", "u very no responsibility" blah blah blah... my god... maybe i shd go in NS sooner... den she cant nag me having no job liao...

sianz... say i becoming liek my cousin (actually all mys cousins sux except 1... wat got wai yu lah... dun wana wrk lah... jail lah... etc etc etc... and im the youngest of my generation den my family pressure me alot...) yah... as if i wana become like them... and she still say i going to be like them liao...-_- if she continue to say like tt i think i really become like them liao lah...-_-:

suan le... friday... friday nite i wana make my wish come true... or plan come true... i wana go to tt bridge... with my tub of ice cream... or maybe yohgurt... den eat and eat till i song... next day dive water, volley, blading, den nite BBQ, den sleep at the beach... hopefully no mosquitoes to kah chiao me like tt time at esplanade:p lol

...it's autumn time, 12:47 AM

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

yeah... i officially announce tt im sick... darn... cough again... wei shen me!~~~~~~

who got left over cough syrup at home? lol~

today going to the promoter training thing... arghz... sianz... promoter... door to door summore... wei shen me!~~~~~~ how come i got tis job in the end... haix... wei le $$$ ye zhi hao zhe yang le... but now i coughing... sekali they dun employ me...

sianz... i hope to start wrk next week... den i can go KTV on thu and most importantly... MY CHALET TIS WEEKEND!!!

k, ppl invited are: alumnis of SPwushu, friends of SPwushu, members of SPwushu, coaches of SPwushu, Lion dance members... so weijie... u noe tt u fall in neither of the category... so u better not be there... lol... if not a happy chalet might juz be destroyed... (dun think he's reading... but he's reading... he better zi dong yi dian liao)

~evil hoh?... no wonder i kena cough... but really... alot ppl wouldnt wan him to go isnt it?:p lol... blah... if he go we can do nuthin too... he go i juz disappear to 7-11, buy 1 tub of PEPPERMINT or COFFEE ice cream and cross that bridge and eat till i song!:p

...it's autumn time, 1:32 AM

Sunday, May 08, 2005

imagine...

sometime...
when you're living on the 8th storey,
with a very wide space you have on the other side of the window...
there's no obstructions, as the wind blows...

you just feel like sliding the window open...
sit on the window sills...
feeling the peace and transquility...

but i cant do tt... coz later pple will think tt im trying to commit suicide...
wonder... wat will the feeling be like... getting the breeze, sitting on sills, looking down frm 8 storey high...

那绝对是另一个无法想象的美丽。。。

...it's autumn time, 4:28 PM

Saturday, May 07, 2005

yeah... ppl... let me tell u... when suayness attacks... u really have nth to do but juz to admit defeat... ren ming ba...

suayness started is attack ystrday... hm... seems that he's quit gd at strategic planning... attack me 1 at a time and each time a success... wah lau eh!!! where's my gd luck jun tuan?!! where's the army??? lol (july 8th... im going to join the army... trying to lame here... got the lameness? -_-)

k lah... so ystrday, i went to outram go buy choc buffet tix... went there... and i couldnt find da place... so in the end i made a phone booking instead...-_- when i can do phone booking at the start... since their minimum order is 5 tix, & i need 6-_-

tml they'll be sending to me... i forecast tt suayness army will attack again... hopefully my gd luck army got send reinforcement to back me up...

den go training... weibin say wait for gary den go eat dinner... lol... heng i nvr did wat he say... if not i no dinner liao:p lol~... den we play chess... and i took stupid steps...-_- den during training captain ball... i attitude...:p lol... those got eyes 1 can see ah! i purposely li siao jul... den gary u there defend for wat!~... but haix... tis gal... say dun hate me in the mouth... but action always says otherwise... the moment i change my grp (was in da same capt ball grp wif her at 1st), she cheered loudly... wth-_-"

a moment of fun, wif exchange of continuous suayness... i hurt my waist!... spine tt part... now i can bend... if not will pain... biangz... think i did some action wrongly den hurt...

suayness army attack still not enuff... they allied wif the ants!... cleaned up laio... sat down at a corner... den tt place infested wif ants i duno... all climbed up and BITE ME!!!

next day, which is today... mrning wake up only den he started attacking... gd move! take opportunity when my gd luck army still orhing... ni li hai!

woke up early... for da sake of going to clean club house... kah boon say if got cancel, he'll tell us by 1am ystrday... den i ask gary supposingly nvr cancel laio hoh?... he say yeah...

reach sch by 10... GREAT!!!!... nobody there!... they've spread the news that it's already canceled... but i nvr receive... muz be the suayness army... koped away my fei ge chuan shu and take the bird to bbq... abc...

den go job interview... praying hard tt it's not sales job... den i think... they still ask me age b4 they can hire me... hm.. whe i reach tt place, go alot of pubs... den i thot, eh?... be bartender not bad hoh? lol... in the end da job is promoter... promote a company... not as wat i wished... sianz... did suayness army did anything? sekali they tou long zhuan feng... make my job change...

i think i still prefer to go sell tau huay at suntec den...

den go sentosa... thot nth will happen... eh.. but wrong... i nvr bring slippers... so i bare foot... den wana go palawan 7-11 buy food... so wana take tram, den no space... den yang say run there lah.. ok loh! onz... den run liao... run till there's 1 part... the road is so hot tt i cant stop...-_-' cant stop running den in the end... suayness army send in explosives... my blister burst loh... lol...

and lastly... go home... kena psychological warfare by suayness army...

eh... dar dar... sorry ah... bu yao bu kai xin lioa ok?...

den since i nvr go watch movie le... i quickly rush home, to bread talk to buy cake for tml... wah diaoz... in the end they dun accept nets...-_- gotta go draw...-_-" and now suayness army how they can control my cash flow! unfair leh... wana use nets oso cannot...

de go home... i wana go eat choc dar dar gave me... WTH! (noon, sis smsed me whether she can eat da choc... i said ok... she noe tt it's frm my friend, and she kena scolded b4 for eating w/o telling me...)

continued:
WTH!!! there's less den half of the amt left loh!... she "HEN ZI DONG" leh... and very hao yi si... but i really too tired and sianz to scold her liao... suayness army too resourceful... can even bribe my sis and eat away my choc... i die die tml oso eat finish da rest...

tml mothers' day... mei shen me xing qing to cele leh... juz pray she wun nag...

eh... i like tis entry... very sheng(4) dong(4):p lol
may suayness army fall tml due to internal conflict

oh yah... finally given rouhui da grad gift liao... abit sianz when they open up the gift on mrt... more sianz when they start asking qns abot the gift... eh... suppose to be yi qie jing zai bu yan zhong tt kind of gan jue 1 mah... but nvm... as long as she likes it can liao:)

now left wif waiteng's 1... JIAYOU!!!... hopefully can give her b4 i go botak...

hm... maybe suayness lose in 1 battle today:p lol... i think i got sort of chat wif rh ba:p lol... though is still a grp conversation...:p zai jie zai li:)

...it's autumn time, 11:56 PM

Friday, May 06, 2005

SuMmArY oF PoLy LiFe...

today, 5th may, marks the end of my study life... my 3 yrs poly life...
now let me do a summary of wat i had gone thru in these 3 yrs ba... super long entry again:p lol~

~Achievements~
Academic: 2As, 15B, 1B+, 10C, 2D
Napfa: Gold
Wushu: Assistant Logistics, 188points
Performance: numerous
Awards: 2 bronze medal, colours award, merit award

eh... like very poor hoh?... sianz... i didnt expect it to be like tt... i thot i shd have more achievements den these... haix... shd have been more active last time...:p too bad, too late to regret now:p let me get some achievement in NS instead? lol~:p

~Year 1~
i entered as gold hair dao kia... chao ah beng whom u cant get close wif... ppl see me will siam away frm me... coz i too dao liao:p... no friends no nth... and i got into CADC and wushu...

at 1st joined cadc, coz i thot they were fun and friendly... later den noe tt they actually very fake, there's internal conflict, but they juz acted out they looked ok... the members oso not very open, juz hen jia lah...

den i quited cadc... (was taking up wushu oso at the same time) compared, wushu has a more family feel, and warm too... remembered da 1st time i go for training... i noe nobody... and haijiao came (she frm cadc too, but i duno her, she mistaken me for someone else): "eh? ni ye lai can jia wushu ah?~" i gave her a queried look and nodded... den she went away embarrased:p lol~

year 1... a wushu active guy... nth in claz interest me except for video... no choice... i only had video in my mind... da rest dun attract me... yao bu shi i fail english... i would have nvr came to SP...

as i said, i was too dao ba... i have no friends in claz... so my only place to go to, wushu...

wrked hard, trained hard... i hope tt i earned my place into performances and to competition...

den china trip, where da fun and sorrows starts...

Juliana... a person rang wo huan xi, rang wo chou... haijiao, me and her, we're a clique... but den my mood swing affected her... we started to drift...

after the china trip, we enjoyed good times, fun times... those sentosa trips, chalets, movie outings, birthday celebrations, poly 50, river raft... etc etc... and we really enjoyed... till that fateful mth...

year 1 march... i received a letter, i retook my english and got a B3... now i can go to NP to pursue my dream course liao... FSV, film sound and video... but i got stucked in a dilemma... to go? or not to go?... coz i realised tt i had fall for juliana...

i kept tt as a secret for as long as it could be... coz i know tt if i popped tt secret out... we might not be friends anymore... and it proves tt im rite...

finally... after i applied for my place in NP... ive confessed... she told me to confirm whether im going NP 1st b4 she give me any reply... i was seriously waiting for the day my confirmation to enter NP...

b4 i could enter da course, we muz take some test and interview 1st... i went thru none of them... tt period was SARS period... whereby anyone who's coughing or having fever will not be allowed to enter... i went there 3 times... 3 times i was asked to go home, as i had cough... the 4th time, they say it'll be the last time, no matter u're sick anot... u'll be taking the test and the interview together... i didnt go for it... ive made da decision myself... im not going... im staying... i wana stay wif her i thot... but again... i think it's another wrong decision i made in poly life... not going to pursue ur dream while u could, it's a big no no ya noe?... i'll nvr do da same mistake again...

i had her reply, though many felt queried abot my decision... coz i was really into film...

she told me tt she duno whether she really likes me anot, or is it becoz i treat her gd, so she felt special only... she said she'll let us try... but we nvr did "try"... we juz stayed on as close friend... not a step further... but many steps taken back...

~Year 2~
things dun go smooth... by june, happy days is appearing to an end soon... we started to have quarrels... quarrels over my mood swing, quarrels over i sticked too much wif her... quarrel tt she dun even have freedom when we're not together... happy days... counting down...

ppl say when someone is low... he'll do nthing well... and of coz, who'll say it's not true?... more dao i get ba... more mood swing too... even in the film i shoot for project in 2nd year... it's a story abt me and her too... sadness is everywhere tt ive been to, that ive touched... the world is filled wif my depress and my only comfort is my bed and my pillow...

Sept... tt fateful week... me, jul and jiao tried to sit down and talk abot it... me and jiao wanted to save the friendship very much... jul... her mouth might say she wan tt friendship too... but actions says it all... sms ceased frm tt day on... my bill wun explode anymore coz of sms... i wun eva hear the hp beeping when im in claz... i nvr had anymore gd nite msg... and tt's when my world came crushing down...

every thing seems to be fault in me... i thot, i was da 1 who resulted tt to happen... if i dun mood swing, if only im more opened... if... den maybe tis friendship will juz carry on... if only i nvr confessed... if only i went to NP...

1 whole year... 1 whole year is how long i took to recover... during this whole year... i nvr had a gd meal, i nvr had a gd sleep, unless i starved, unless i nvr sleep... i got thinner... i lost weight... everyone saw it... everyone knew it... but no one can really comfort me... but still thx to lending me ur ears friends:) especially aunty:)...

during tis dark period... i think i break my own record... i dun speak, i dun talk, i dun open my mouth... my lips always dried... and they stick together... haha... almost lost the ability to talk? lol...

training, every training was meant for me, meant for me to let out... i chiong, i strived... i did the impossible, i pushed myself... i psychoed myself... to block away those unwanted feelings... and especially to let off anger stuffed in me...

every training, every remarks she muz make... makes my heart pierced and pierced, frm glass shattered, it breaks into pieces, den bits...

ai de yue shen, shang de yue shen... wo ai ta hen shen hen shen.... and tt's why i was hurt so deep... almost cant get out... till 1 day... till 1 day den i found out, there are ppl supporting me... though we're not close, but they stand by me... they're wat i noe by friends...

tingyun, my "ex wife", she's 1 cheerful gal... and cheering me up as and when she's wif me... she starts to brighten up my life a little... den aunty... nvr eva left me behind... always pulling me up frm the deepest hole i fall into... peixuan... a cool junior who try laming wif me... and thus i helped her in the relation she wished for... waiteng... haha... think she's the only outsider who keeps listening to me abot me and jul:p lol...

my coolness tt time, might made me more open... i dared to do things, i dared to say... nth was impossible to me... nono... the only thing impossible is for me to be happy... but nvrtheless, my social circle in sch opened...

~year3~
finally, i had friends in my claz... morby, fuming, weili, ccl, yuanting, Zcup7... etc etc... thx peeps:) was really glad tt time when u all was there:) dun think i only remember wushu:p i wun forget u ppl too:)

and finally... 1 year ended... my depression has finally ended:) cool... but im a changed psn... someone i dun really like it myself... coz ive dared to do stuffs... i become more KB (kao bei) and i think i still am now... i wana go back to the sec sch me where i think everything abot me is perfect... (though no one is perfect lah) i think tt time im da best...

but past can nvr be relived, and of coz, im not able to be the 1 i am again... so do our friendship... i do not bother much abot her now... but i still treat her as my friend... but does she still? till today... im afraid not... she still couldnt sit down and have a proper chat wif me...

btw, yah, she have a bf liao... a yr younger den her... so wat happened to her freedom?... i guess onlt she'll noe... she once promised tt if she got stead, she wun forget her friends... but maybe she's rite, once in a blue moon ba...

she nvr really realised her wrds... and tt's why i got cliqued wif da rest...
weibin, zhenghong, gary, haijiao... ive cliqued wif them.. finally... in the 3rd yr...
lots of stuffs happen... lots of fun and laughter... new 1... new memories that dun have her...

waiteng's clique was a bonus... i dun expect to noe more friends in the last few mths of poly life... i got surprise bonus tis time:)

these last few mths of happiness really cant be described... it's like using a few mths to experience 3 years of fun and happiness tt ive missed... shen qi...

~NS & Future~
July 8th i'll be enlisting liao... to those who still retained... yeah... tt's u gary! and hong... and jul too... jiayou ah! i dun wana see u again next yr in sch!:p bleah

hahaha... to da rest, jiayou in wateva we do in future ok?! in studies, in wrk, in luve! we all will enjoy our life to da fullest! got sad times? no wurry... i'll be here to sad wif u:) hehehe...

and i'll still continue to pursue my dream no matter wat... xi wang ni men ye shi... and finally... once i love a psn, i love her 4eva... ive nvr hated u jul...

i wonder when will the special gal appear... im still waiting for my fate to come... my chance to build the bridge called destiny...

*** sorry if i missed out anyone, coz 3 yrs write so short only... mai hiam buay pai lah... ok? muz tag hoh! if i forgot:p lol... still got alot to type 1... coz tt's only da relationship life sia:p haha... but nvm:p enuff is enuff:p

...it's autumn time, 1:58 AM

Thursday, May 05, 2005

1st thing is sianz...... why? COZ I CANT TAG ON MY SHOUTBOX!~... aieks... not only mine, i cant tag on all shoutbox!~ why?~ arghz... seems ez the prob, but i cant solve it...

it says "cookies deactivated?" den? how to activate cookies?... who noe how to do it?

after tt, den something yeah!:p

today's the excellence in service award:p hehhee... den can go sch eat dinner:p

actually something very sianz happened... but wun say today:p dun sianz u all:p lol

come come, let me tell u wat we had for dinner:p


there's bread on the table:p we're hungry:p so we thot... haha... dun care:p juz eat:p


tis is our appetizer:p butterfly shrimp:p yum yum:p


followed by caesar salad:p oooh... cheesy:p haha


den the soup of the day, cream of potato... and it sux:p pooi:p haha... noe why? coz it taste of burnt potatoes... i think our soup is towards the end of the base of the pot... tt's why... in the end whole table nvr finish the soup:P


den come da main course, choice of either salmon steak or steam herb chicken... i took salmon:p
haha... den those who cant make decision, they say half half:p lol~


the dessseeerrrrtttt:p hehehe home made tiramisu... wow... shiok:p nice nice nice!!!


and a hot cup of tea to end the meal:p

burrpp:p hahha... enjoyed da meal? yeah:p except the soup:P hahhha

haha... tt's it:p shall end tis wif the awards:p

excellence in service award (group, sports)


excellence in service award (individual, sports) weibin

...it's autumn time, 2:08 AM

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

hihi... today im happier le... dun wan happier oso cannot:p coz was touched by u friends:p thx for cheering me up:)

thx for aunty's care, anna's love bread, dar dar's grad gift, waiteng's care, rouhui's concern and weiting lameness... haha, actually anna's lameness too:p

today went out wif anna, dar dar and weiting to queensway... but i was seriously late... i miscalculated the bus journey... and i reached an hr late-_-"

b4 i reached, i received sms frm waiteng, she knew abot me abit sad lately... so she smsed me... hen kai xin:) felt warmth... and cared for:) thx ya:)

anyway... when i reached there... they got to noe i got sad recently... wah... news does spread fast eh? was abit surprised too... den anna bought me something... haha... very sweet... coz it's a chocolate cream puff frm polar cakes... in heart shape summore... lol... 1st time eating heart shape stuff other den chocolates... very nice...:) shared wif them too:)... too bad they wan me to eat up:p if not i'll take photo 1st b4 i eat:p lol~

den dar dar gave me her gift for me... b4 she gave me... she said... ting shuo shang xin shi, chi zhe ge ke yi xiao chu shang xin... hahha... and yeah... it's chocolates... lots of them too... hahhaa... biangz... too much le lah:p i need to take time to eat them all up:p hahhaa... very nice, i really like it... my 2nd sweet gift tt i had eva received.. arigato... thx dar dar:) hugsz...



yah... i like those stars too:) muz have spent u quite alot of time eh? xie xie ni again:p

after tt, we went to ikea for lunch? lol... weiting confirmed very satisfied after her swedish meatballs:p i ordered for an apple pie and chocolate mousse... in the end i ate more-_- lol~... but it's nice:) they kept saying it's fatty, lots of carbo den needa skip alot... lol~ actually i thot so too:p too sweet:p scared later my stomach cant take it again...

after tt we went to citylink adidas shop, coz dar wana get some shirt:p den she left to go for tuition and norman joined us... we went peninsula, w/o getting anything in the end and went to esplanade:p

weiting saw her wu gui che... eh... harlow? it's beetle:p or ladybug dear...:p not wu gui:p hahha.. wu gui is another car lah:P


a very nice car indeed:p



haha... den we chatted awhile... lame lame yi sia:p den rain starts to drop on our head:p... den we find shelter, while deciding where to go...


in the end we decided to toss coin...-_- head go here, tail go there... den got tails... but we forgot wat's the decision... lol~... in the end we went home...

at home... i received rouhui's sms... shen qi... 1st time receive such msg frm her... gan dong... thx ya:) she oso got to know abot my sadness...:)

today i really hen kai xin... thx for all ya friends:) felt better le:) thx for lending me ur ears, my ears will oso be free for u peeps too:) hehhee

anyway, aunty, how come i cant get into ur OD? it says passwrd wrong... u changed my password liao ah?

...it's autumn time, 12:58 AM