Monday, April 30, 2007
Im a a straight forward person?I think i am today... though a few years back i dun think i am...
Was chatting today, then i realised that i hate it when things dun go the obvious way... you have to get this hint, get that hint, turn here turn there, den u get the answer...
The reason i hate it coz im wols! (slow-_-) i can nvr get those hints and stuffs at the correct time, no... worse, i usually couldnt get those hints at all! that results in all those 'bad' relationship...
Why cant u ppl juz tell me straight?????? and maybe that's the reason when i start to get straight wif myself to others... im really sick and tired of all those guessing games... maybe you want me to find things out myself... but it's really not helping me when those guessing games gets nowhere...
Straight forwardness... is it a good point or a bad point?... depends on situation, depends on ppl... but i guess... tt's me for now... im someone who's abit straight forward... so do mind me... and tell me if u're offended... coz i nvr know... im slow!...-_-'
...it's autumn time, 5:50 PM
或许只是误会，可是，十之八九，不会错的。我的心，终于该死了。。。
他们的亲密，甜在她心里，痛在我心里。
试着不理一切，一切。却又是越来越在乎。
我恨自己的愚笨，恨自己永远那么念旧，那么不肯释手。
~我的心，它在滴血，痛得我死去活来，痛不欲生~
...it's autumn time, 4:03 PM
Friday, April 27, 2007
Today went back tcamp to do body FFI... thot it would be a very fast process like going to the Dental FFI... but was wrong... took 2 hrs tis time while the latter only took 5mins-_-"Anyway, got tooth decay, the dentist tell me to fill it up-_-" wat the... consider it after i get a job lah-_-...
Body FFI... damn... i forgot abot a test that i hate the most-_-" urine test-_- shit... summore went toilet b4 going to the medical centre loh! as usual... drank lots of water den wait loh...
heng the whole thing took so damn long... so doent matter...
Taking blood sample sucks... i think i remembered telling that i realised wat i hate, not only chilli, but needles too... heng tt medic noe how to poke-_-" not like zihui last time, poke into my nerve, den lost control of my thumb movement for a mth-_-"
But i said things too early-_-" the medic put in the syringe, draw the blood, den when he taking away the toniquette, he like super kanchiong like tt.. wth! so kanchiong for wat? in the end the needle move around inside my arm-_-" imagine the feeeeeelllllll.... lol~
Den swollen... and the muscle there become vey numb... till now is still like tt-_-"
K, really muz worry abit abot health liao... unrine test, glucose level = +1 den the doc wan me to retest... den medic say... abit i think nvm lah.... diaoz... means still got glucose level lah!... but anyway... +1 is still okie for now... but that might means diabetes might be coming my way...
coz come to think of it... i dun remember i had lots of sweet stuffs leh!~ not even chocolates loh... wonder where tt glucose lvl came from...
Getting back on my feet~
yeah... finally im doing something liao... it's going, though painfully slow, but at least it's going... ystrday took whole day to write resume... think it's quite dumb... seems very simple yet i took whole day... 4pages summore!~
Den i sent out to ppl to help me check and edit... and now i think i got over 10s of reply... wah... see oso xiong, but gd... :p hahha...
some ppl say 2pages for resume, some say nvm, some say can reach to 10... hm... so i can only say.... only the psn reading the resume would noe how many pages or how detail he/she wans ba...
anyway thx for all help given to me writing the resume:)
...it's autumn time, 12:11 AM
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
你的名字是否有意思？你又是否喜欢你的名字？
最喜欢的又是哪个字呢？
我姓吴，名慈荣。
名字的来源很简单，荣为辈分而取。因荣常出现在华文的圣经里（母亲是基督教徒）所以就以佛家常提的慈作为前名（父亲是佛教徒）
三个字的名里，最喜欢的，还是慈。不知为什么，就是这个慈最有代表性，代表着性格，行为，风格等。。。以心作为中心。
慈，tze，英文字里最难念的字。可是就因为这样，我更想他人能够念好这个字。
慢慢的，洋名Zen也就这样衍生出来。以Z的音而得来。
虽然好像都与佛家有关，可是糟糕的是，我对佛家教诲，还算是一知半解的吧:p
哈哈，也只是我喜欢这样的风格罢了，简朴，平反。。。
你呢？你的名字又是何样？
...it's autumn time, 1:40 PM
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Yesterday 3am then I finished reading the whole theory bookThese few days i havent been very happy, and it does affect my mood of taking the test...
Stepped into the room and the feeling goes like this... finish the 50 qns, pass means pass, fail means fail...
And so I just did the test, without much thought, nor worry.
There's more tricky questions this time round that makes me stop and ponder...
Is the car stopping by the roadside more dangerous than the cyclist trying to cross the road?
Does 'Free Wheeling' makes you go faster then expected?
When is the most dangerous when you are reversing into a side road?
etc etc etc...
I cant even figure out what it's asking sometimes... which situation is you need to reverse into side road?-_-"
Anyway, Im the first to complete this time round... and the Passed appeared... abit surprised, coz there's too much questions that I dont really know the answer...
1 step further now... Get a job, save money and move on to practical...
...it's autumn time, 1:04 PM
朋友世界里，有不测之风云，右变天之相...it's autumn time, 9:47 AM
March 9th ~ Remioromennagareru kisetsu no mannaka de
futo hi no nagasa wo kanjimasu
sewashiku sugiru hibi no naka ni
watashi to anata de yume wo egaku
in the midst of flowing seasons,
I suddenly feel the length of the days
in the midst of passing restless days,
you and I are painting our dreams
sangatsu no kaze ni omoi wo nosete
sakura no tsubomi wa haru e to tsudzukimasu
place our feelings in the wind of March
where the sakura blossoms are going towards spring
afuredasu hikari no tsubu ga
sukoshizutsu asa wo atatamemasu
ookina akubi wo shita ato ni
sukoshi tereteru anata no yoko de
grains of light are overflowing,
bit by bit, starting to warm the morning
and after a big yawn,
i’m feeling a bit awkward by your side
arata na sekai no iriguchi ni tachi
kidzuita koto wa hitori ja nai tte koto
standing at the door to a new world,
what I realized is that I’m not alone
hitomi wo tojireba anata ga
mabuta no ura ni iru koto de
dore hodo tsuyoku nareta deshou
anata ni totte watashi mo, sou de aritai…
if i close my eyes, you are
always behind my eyelids
isn’t that what made me stronger?
I, too, want to be like that for you…
suna bokori hakobu tsumoji kaze
sentakumono ni karamarimasu ga
hiru mae no sora no shiroi tsuki wa
nanda ka kirei de mitoremashita
the dust-carrying whirlwinds
are entangling the laundry
but the white moon before the noon sky
was so beautiful that I’m fascinated
umaku wa ikanu koto mo aru keredo
ten wo oogeba sore sae chiisakute
there are things that didn’t go well, butc
ompared to the sky, they seem so small
aoi sora wa rin to sunde
hitsuji kumo wa shizuka ni yureru
hana saku wo matsu yorokobi wo
wakachi aeru no de areba, sore wa shiawase
the blue sky, by the moment
the fluffy clouds are swaying quietly
the pleasure of waiting for the blooming petals,
if we can share it, then that’s a blessing
kono saki mo tonari de, sotto hohoende…
from now on, smile gently beside me…
hitomi wo tojireba anata ga
mabuta no ura ni iru koto de
dore hodo tsuyoku nareta deshou
anata ni totte watashi mo, sou de aritai…
if i close my eyes, you are
always behind my eyelids
isn’t that what made me stronger?
I, too, want to be like that for you…
...it's autumn time, 4:00 AM
How much time do I left with?40yrs ? 60 yrs? Let's give the most possible answer, 40yrs...
So, which should I choose? To pursue a Dream? Or to pursue a Career?
Was quite pissed off with Gary's advice today... but still tried to rebutt him as nice as possible, but still can see he also pissed off with me... haha...
He gave me the advice that we gave him years ago when he failed his studies. Think of a career to pursue... and he gave it back to me today... i rejected it... coz he forgot one thing! I have a Dream that i wana pursue, it's not like him when he have nothing in mind at that time!~
Anyway, he's much better now... at least he got plans now, planning to open a shop, like cafe... We'll definitely support him all the way de...
Back to the topic... yes, I got it... I know all of ya wana help me but the thing is, please note that I have this dream on pursuing in the media/film/video industry, whatever you wana call it. I know that sometimes, we must be realistic and choose the correct decision, but I still have the time to choose right?
Seriously, choosing other careers though doesn't mean that my dream cant be pursued, but it'll means that i can only do it as an interest, and sure thing, i wouldn't be able to learn as much...
I will still choose the latter when time comes... that is when either im really cant get into the industry, or i cant stand my mum's nagging:p
Gary: Signing on as Narcotics Officer is fun, but it's about I can't pursue my dream after this career... coz my Diploma would be a waste paper by then...
Fang: Main reason about not being a relieve teacher is coz i can teach, the wrong things, and i have nthing to teach...
Anyway, thanks for all your concern, thanks to Fang and Gary...
Oh yah, today's training is getting better, though I sidetrack everywhere, but at least... Im not slacking...
~Job is not hard to find, you open the newspapers, it's all available. It's the job that you want that makes it hard~
~二者只能选一，只好见关其变，随机应变~
~Too much slacking in the army becomes a habit, an attitude that needs to be changed and changing~
...it's autumn time, 12:29 AM
Monday, April 23, 2007
Say It With Me - SPARTAAAAAATook tis down from someone'e blog ~http://www.euniqueflair.com/
very funny... so muz share:p
Take a chill pill and have a good laugh.
...it's autumn time, 5:33 PM
Friday, April 20, 2007
Ding Dong~May all passengers of Flight no ORD 075 please take note that your flight has been delayed due to some technical fault in the plane. Your flight in being rescheduled to depart on 7th May 2007, 1pm sharp. Please remember to bring your necessary documents such as ur FFI, clearance form and stuffs like that in order to board the plane and exchange for the holy Pink IC...
Sorry for the inconvinience caused, and have a wonderful journey thereafter~
Ding Dong~
~Zihui going for SIA interview tml mrning..... wonder is he going to succeed... to be an Air steward
~4 more days to advance theory and im only at pg 41 of 122...
...it's autumn time, 10:50 PM
Thursday, April 19, 2007
18th Apr ~ Im a big mouth...Super sianded today... At noon... we was chatting and she say that i was a big mouth... cannot tell me things 1... den i rebutted no leh!~... i very quiet 1...
den at nite she proved me wrong-_-" diaoz...
i actually leaked that she had a blog in front of her bf...-_-" arghz... super sianded... 好的不灵，坏的灵... buy 4D oso not so accurate loh!~... haix...
wat's said is said...
juz sadded wif myself... duh!~ so guys/gals... if u all got things *especially secrets, think thrice b4 telling me......
think i shd juz keep my mouth shut... let me try dun talk for the next whole week...
really sorry abot it...~
~sorry, it's a word that shd be said by action, not mouth~
...it's autumn time, 12:23 AM
15th Apr ~ Dad's reputationToday needa go 扫墓, so early in da mrning we met up with other relatives at the coffee shop for breakfast first...
Everyone started asking about me whether ive found job already or not?... Everyone was like very enthu to find/intro job for me like tt... 'find my daughter, ask her whether she can help or not', 'ask your cousin! he work at TCS last time!'... etc etc...
stresssssssssssssssssssss.... it's not like i dun wana their help... but if they help me to find job, den it'll be even more pressure... coz tt job if you feel unhappy abot it, or you nvr do well... all their gd wrds put for ya will become like lies... den oso not good...
haix... wat to do?... i seriously sianz abot looking for work now... very lazy... but cannot slack for long tell ya... coz im going to be super broke in may!!!!!!!!!!
still considering whether wana join CNB (central narcotics beareau)... if i join... 7mths training... tt means i'll miss the Taiwan trip...:( den 2 yrs bond... tt'll means that i'll be even further away from the industry i wana go... it'll be abot dream and job... though job at cnb seems interesting too...
haix... duno...
...it's autumn time, 12:12 AM
13th Apr ~ Haijiao's 迈步Haijiao: Do you all want to know how to 迈步??
Wenqi etc: Yes!
Haijiao: 来哦！来哦！一块布两块！~
-_-" 迈步 = 卖布
...it's autumn time, 12:08 AM
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Only Human ~ Kkanashimi no mukou kishi ni
hohoemi ga aru to iu yo…
on the other shore of sadness,
it is said that there is a smile…
kanashimi no mukou kishi ni
hohoemi ga aru to iu yo
tadoritsuku sono saki ni wa
nani ga bokura wo matteru
on the other shore of sadness,
it is said that there is a smile
but finally, when we arrived there,
what has been waiting for us?
nigeru tame ja naku
yume ou tame ni
tabi ni deta hazusa
tooi natsu no ano hi
the purpose is not to run away
it’s to run after the dream
maybe, we should have left on a trip
to that distant day of the summer…
ashita sae mieta nara
tame iki mo nai kedo
nagare ni sakarau fune no you ni
ima wa mae e susume
even tomorrow, if you can see it
although there is not really a reason
like a boat that goes against the stream
for now, move on forward
kurushimi no tsukita basho ni
shiawase ga matsu to iu yo
boku wa mada sagashite iru
kisetsu hazure no himawari
on the end of pains and hardships,
it is said that happiness is waiting
as for me, i’m still searching
the sunflower of the end of season
kobushi nigirishime
asahi wo mateba
akai tsume ato ni
namida kirari ochiru…
even if you clench your fist,
waiting for the morning sun
leaving red marks on your nail,
and those tears started to drop…
kodoku ni mo nareta nara
tsukiakari tayori ni
hane naki tsubasa de tobidato
umotto mae e susume
even if you are left in loneliness,
only with the moonlight to rely on
fly with the featherless wings,
more and more, move on forward
amagumo ga kireta nara
nureta michi kagayaku
yami dake ga oshiete kureru
tsuyoi, tsuyoi hikari
tsuyoku mae e susume
when the rain cloud is gone,
the wet road will shine
only the darkness will tell me
a strong, strong light
be strong, move on forward
...it's autumn time, 4:46 PM
Monday, April 16, 2007
23rd Mar (Fri) ~ A reason to cryShe’s crying again today… For what reason, I duno. Actually, I shdnt give too much thot abot it. But something juz seems to pull my thots over.
Maybe, a concern as a friend? Gary wasn’t in the mood either… He felt like crying… & more or less I noe the reason why.
Im quite sick today… so ive controlled harder not to be so emotional… If not, I think I’ll be the one crying instead of them…
That’s the prob of being single… When the nite comes, the wind blew hard onto you skin… & the coldness pricks right into your heart, making you shiver in lonliness…
30th Mar (Fri) ~ Im not being pro… Caring for my health
I think I went out in the day today to get something from SimLim… On the train, I was busy reading my comics until my hp rang in my pocket. The moment I took it out, I saw Sylvia! She’s sitting right opposite me… lol~ It’s been sometime since I see her, though it’s like ~2mths… But it’s long enuff le… anyway, it always feels good to see your friends isn’t it?
My day was brightened juz like tt:)
Went for training after that. Good mood still stays wif me & ive trained hard, but it got real boring after some time… nobody trains wif you & you’re doing things on your own is really not motivating…
Actually more of the time, my eyes is fluctuating, to the pair over there training their swords… in the end, I sat down & watched her all the way-_-"
Think aunty will be disappointed wif me…coz she told me to be pro & not to care abot her during training… obviously, im not very pro here…
Gotta book in, and the rest dragged too long… missed my dinper (dinner + supper) & take on the train. This time, I saw another sec sch mate! Shihui and Waipeng, 1 yr+ and 3yr + nvr see them liao…
Shihui say how come I got thinner? Thot army guys shd get gatter? …-_-" The truth is ive put on 4kg, frm 47 to 51.1 kg.. and my waist, I think it’s still at 27… but anyway, I thot it was muscle growth, but I look at myself… impossible… but I couldn’t find where my fats went to-_-" duno where tt 4kg come frm…
Anyway, few days later when I went to jul’s house, her mum oso…asked why I got thinner!-_-" abit omg liao… think is coz I sick recently lah… tt’s why I look paler and thinner…
Oh yah… im still not recovered frm my cough… yet… hm… actually got for 3 days… den when I go back camp… it came again-_-"
Hope that I wun get too sick :p
13th Apr (Fri) ~ 失望
今天，我无意中知道了一些我不该知道的事。我很失望。。。
我把他当好朋友，当他是兄弟的朋友，他却对我撒谎。。。
这不是你会不会喜欢他的问题，而是我不能被信赖吗？我真的很失望，虽然不是什么大不了的事。过些时候，一切就会被淡忘的。
但有些事，想忘也忘不了。
从“一升的眼泪”中纳取，‘人不可以活在过去’。偏偏的，我就是那种念旧的人，一直活在过去，所以不能前进。
在他们的谈话中，我没有刻意离去。假装一切依然，却是她突然离去，让我觉得很傻。
一直装着乐观的我是快乐的吗？我知道我是悲观爱哭型的，却是一直这样强忍悲伤，摆出笑脸。
或许是刘若英的那型吧。。。最悲观的乐观者：）
...it's autumn time, 6:59 AM
Friday, April 06, 2007
Recently juz finished editing my shoe design... Zihui wrote the Wu wrongly... den i wana edit... in the end i redo the whole thing... loL~
dun really like it, coz it's not wat i expected to see... wana make it like calligraphy 1... but the brush strokes cant be wrote over, u muz 'draw' them out 1...:( but anyway, i still like the Hun wrd.... made it got the 'Explosive' effect:p
anyway im giving it to qinhao... coz the shoe size doesnt fit me at all... lol~
oh yah... updated the backdating entry wif afew photos:)
...it's autumn time, 8:48 PM