Thursday, June 19, 2008
昨天，我想要它帮我演出戏。。。
可是我却不小心按错了按钮。
它是我最重要的‘我爱你’
我的心很疼。。。虽然她说她没生气，却似乎让我更难过了些。。。
我再次按下了红色的钮，把她的呼吸记下来。。。
我失去了最重要的我爱你。。。 夜里，至少还有她的呼吸。。。
...it's autumn time, 9:50 PM
已经一年了。我的心情是喜哀参半。我们会过得了这一关吗？
我的心，留了个空缺，因为我真的不知道我是喜是哀，因该说。。。 这个空缺是留着的。留到时刻来临时，再把我的心情放下去。此时的我心有个缺，有点难受，但总比烦恼来的好。
我们会怎么样？
还会有明天吗？
我双手合并，祈祷吗？
我想，我们经历的一切，开心的，悲伤的，懊恼的，欢乐的。我都很珍惜，很珍惜。
我能做的，我想我都做了，虽然说还是能做些什么。
我想，我现在最能做的，也就是等。。。
我 爱 你
...it's autumn time, 12:36 AM
My dad was happily telling me...you know why this 2 fishes is so fierce? you see other fish cant go near this area...
i looked... i said i duno...
coz the baby fishes were borned...
i looked carefully... the small little dots are swimming under the protection of their parents....
my dad was really happy... i think i am too... there's new born in the house=)
...it's autumn time, 12:31 AM
Saturday, June 14, 2008
4 more days to the anniversary...but i cant get to meet her... not even for an hr...
maybe everything juz had to be pushed back... to next mth...
i duno wat's happening to us.... or maybe, i do noe...
why does it always seems the same??? history repeating???
IM SICK AND TIRED! literally... getting sick now... and freaking tired mentally and physically... the long wrking hrs and mental stress im having now is really make me failing...
today i wana go out... really need some ppl's accompany... in the end i got bin to go out wif me... lucky me... if not i really duno where the hell i'll be and doing liao...
june is a tough mth... very tough mth... i wana make it thru... hoping tt we can make it thru too...
i think i really need some sort of break the week after next...
i wana go out for a short tour... i wana go chalet or anything like tt...
but in the very end... it seems tt im couping up myself again...
i think both of us is really stressed this mth... i muz curb myself even more so that i wun stress her further... shit me=( 23yrs old liao still duno how to curb myself... dun seems like im any bit matured in any sense... haix...
...it's autumn time, 11:27 PM
Seriously... i need somebody to talk to now...But i came online... there was no one...
Im very very lonely now... haix...
Lots of frustrations i wana vent out... but i juz realise... physically... ive vented out already... but tt something is still inside... arghz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...
Listening to some soothing music...
but the more i listen... the sadder i felt-_-" haix...
Alot of things went thru my mind a few moments ago... i duno... im quite messed up now... all i can do now... maybe is juz to wait??? wait till the exams over...
arghz... im so frustrated!=( wrk doesnt seems to end... and i cant get a mind on what to do... haix... i need some help... miracle? answers? i think i noe wat i want... juz tt... i duno i can get it anot.........
...............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
yet, another sleepless nite...
...it's autumn time, 1:18 AM
Thursday, June 12, 2008
really being sold like hotcake...today ive got 4 tentative dates booked... im happy, coz it'll means tt i have no worries for pocket money, or maybe even uni fees!!!
but at the same time... im sad... coz i duno how tired i might be den... will i be able to cope? anyway, bing lai jiang dang, shui lai tu yan, anything tt comes, i'll juz have to cope with it no matter wat=p coz i sincerely believe tt i'll be wrking hard... really bia thru my study, work, family and relation=) jiayou!!!
this week im not totally burnt out yet... but it's xiong enuff... den i suddenly heard joyce say Dan cannot shoot tis sun!!!! wah!~... e feeling is like 1 mountain suddenly dropped on my back... sianz.... if he cant shoot... dne means i have to go liao... whole day shoot leh... damn sianz...
heng in the end he can make it... if not i think i'll really 100% no mood for the next few days liao...
W910i... have u bought this phone?
when i bought this phone, it's at 'discounted' price... meaning cheap lah... when singtel does this gimmick, u noe tt something's not right abot this phone=p lol~ i noe something not right but duno wat... hm... so wat's wrong with this phone?
Software side, sometimes, alien words will appear when u typed... and it will hang oso... hardware wise? think shd be the batteries ba... it'll cause the hp to go off, *no shut down, but simply no screen display... den the red light will appear... u could do nthing abot it but to take the batt out and in again...
will i say ive got the wrong buy? hm... nopez... coz i still think tt this phone has it advantage... which is the keypad=p really like is, and the big big screen=)
time to slp... tml have a wedding shoot... only till 1pm!!! shuang=) hehehehe...
...it's autumn time, 9:16 PM
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
you all muz have thot tt this owner of this blog duno die till where lioa...im still alive and kicking... and i actually got alot to blog since i came here everyday... but once ive opened up my dashboard... i dun feel like writing anymore... coz i duno how to express it out using words...
life is not miserable for me... not so serious... but more frustrating...
not alot of things happening, yet everything is getting out of hands...
relationship is one, friends is another, wrk yet another... family too...
juz got scolded frm my parents... yet i cant rebutt them... it's like so defenceless... they scold u, but u cant scold them... haix... hen wu nai... i duno wat to say and i noe once i rebutt them... is another mei wan mei liao de thing liao... im frustrated wif myself enuff already... dun wana make myself even worse...
was watching tv juz now... den there's this couple where the wife have problems wif the guy's parents... i look at tt... a sudden thot... will tt happen to me?... i guess if tt really happens... im going to be the 1 stucked in the middle... coz seriously... im a useless guy... i juz love both side and wish tt they'll be happy... *happier for me if they have no prob wif each other...
stupidly... today i mistaken my 12mth anniversary as a 11mth anniv... how will you feel if ur boy forgets or mistaken anniversary?? very disappointed i guess... actually im disappointed wif myself too... very...
too much frustration, but little problems... yet i juz cant grab hold of any one and try to solve the matter... work is piling like a mountain, relation clouded wif grey skies, friends at a distant... im really really frustrated recently... tt my emotion have problem controlling...
certain nites... juz when the feeling came... i would juz cry out... haix... useless me... i wish for someone to talk to... someone to stay by me... i wish for all things to be solved and back to the way it is...
i wish for all these frustrations to be gone...
...it's autumn time, 11:57 PM
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
'Im selling you like hotcakes' quoted frm joyce...recently im getting more and more wedding shoots already... joyce said tt she's selling me like hotcakes... hm... wat does tt mean? hotcake is popular anot ah?=p
den maybe im really lucky... coz joyce said tt everytime my couple all very chio 1... lol~ hm... glad though... coz u no need to worry abot muz take which angle den nicer (which im still not gd at yet)...
but anyway... i wonder, when i start schooling... will my wedding shoot still be as much? if it's really tt much... den i think i wun have any prob wif pocket money anymore liao=p lol~
suddenly future is abit blur again...
...it's autumn time, 10:31 PM
Monday, June 02, 2008
Well... after such a long time of not posting anything... maybe i shd juz do some update since im off today...Wrk has been very tight and busy for this mth... everyday seems to have so much things to complete and yet everything seems to be piling up too!~... the worst have yet to come... next 2 week have to go expo shoot for 2 weeks!!!!! i cant imagine the amt of editing and the hrs spent at shooting... den this coming sat im going to have a wedding shoot... wah... 12hrs=p... lol... okie, i noe it's going to damn tiring this mth lah... but hopefully it's going to be fruitful in the end...
i haven been spending much time wif my darling... even got a feeling of losing contact liao!... haix... duno why... even her smses oso getting lesser... to the point tt i actually felt abit sianz and pekcek abot it too...
friends wise oso da same... haix... think ive not put enuff effort in ba... am i taking things for granted already??? tt's the question im asking now after getting so bz wif the schedule and weibin called tt day...
after this mth shd be slightly less bz liao... den i shd have time for all le...
but i really wana spend some time wif my darling!!!!!!=(
this wed celebrating leslie's bday... hopefully wrk there no last min things... if not i'll oso be sianz liao...
this mth is june... next mth last mth liao... last mth of being a full time wrker under vocaremedia...
tt sums up me for wrking 1 year... ive really learnt quite alot i guess... how to use mac, and fcp... how to check and get the correct footage... how to shoot, how to be detailed in shooting... going out alone to shoot for weddings, editing etc etc etc...
well... i think i really gotta thx yongxiong... since he introed me da place... and i really thx for me having the luck... coz they're expanding... tt's why i got the opportunity to get in... timing juz rite... but the timing im leaving juz wrong... lol~ everything is picking up, business is coming in... more responsibility im going to take too... but 4yrs of study!... seriously... if say it's 2 or 3 yrs... im definitely going to wrk for a yr more... 4 yrs... by the time ive got out of study... im already 27!... wah.............
hopefully i'll be as lucky and get a job b4 i grad=p and score a 1st class honours!!!! lol... 1st class leh... say ez only lah....
well... i certainly will miss my wrking days too when i get back to study... tt's defintely... tt's how human wrks rite???? when u study, u wana wrk, when u wrk, u wana study=p
27yrs old when i grad... i hope tt everything will be stablised within a year... and really everything... frm family to career, frm friends to LOVE... lol~ if u get wat i mean... =p i think only aunty noes=p lol~
Well... tt's all i can update till now... quite sianz at home now... unable to get her... she's meeting her friends... hope tt she ends early ah=p lol~ zek ak=p
future is nvr assured... all tt we can do is to wrk hard for our dreams and aims... and get the best out of it... my future?... hahaa... juz hold on tight and pray for the best=p
...it's autumn time, 1:41 PM