Everyday is a sunny day!

for a sudden... i felt extra tired today... really drained...

my aches starts to come in and i wished for someone who could have massage for me...

arghz... it's still as bad this week... my story was rejected and the prof is really damn idiot... coz he rejects for his biasness and his critiques are irrelevant! im damn irritated and pissed off and i got v v v stubborn wif my idea...

Though now a new story was thot up wif the help of xinni and yuehan, somehow, i felt tt wif my command of language, he's going to play wif the words i use again and reject me. damn... =( i dun wana shoot adaptation! shitz.... i rather be Art and Cinematogrpaher for other ppl den to shoot something that is not myself anymore...

Felt damn cui... all my assignments are behind by 2 or 3 weeks now... and the story keeps failing and i needa spend time on thinking of it... den it rolls up tt i have no time to do other assignments... damn pissed

Let's hope the long weekend i would be catching up alot... hopefully... there's so much to be done...

Ystrday, juz gave my editing wrkshop... though it's lesser ppl den i expected... but well... i did wat i promised... guess it's a wrap? hm... those who wants me to conduct again... maybe next time ba.. 1 to 1.. or 1 to few...

tired... this week... is much or realisation. Realise tt if i wana invoke a certain feeling to the audience. i Must make it to the extreme and dramatise it... so that u have no choice but it decipher it as wat it shd be... which.... sad to say... i dun really prefer... but wat to do? if jaymz dun like it, i cant shoot! wth=(

haix...

This week is like this... to help others, i must save myself 1st...
Operations save myself starts this week....

Labels: adm

...it's autumn time, 11:22 PM

Finally... days has been cooler for me now...

Ive been quite slacking this week... but if i were to say... i rather not...

Ive finally handed in my 1st Graphic Design assignment, with 4 weeks passed, more den 4 assignments... i only handed up 1=p felt satisfied though... coz at least... i finally meet up with the dateline and got something done...

So ive slacked quite alot... slpt in school to get my other works done... slowly. but not cool...

Im quite disappointed with myself now... ive lost my passion i think... my film was made in a way that it consist of nthing. nthing as in no story, no climax, no meaning, no nthing. You wouldnt give a damn abot the clips i make now... coz it simply have nthing gd to comment abot. Worst, there's nthing bad either... simply... no comments...

Now quite a headache... the final film pitching is really jialat... i dun have a story. My story was crap, there's no conflict, no nthing as well. Jaymz (prof) says tt i have a serious prob in my story that dun wrk at all in any sense... *im the only one wif a straight-in-face-no! kind of remark...

Once again... im lost... that my passion in film came to drop and end so suddenly... i noe i wana make some film that is gd... that touches ppl, that invokes feelings... but now, i cant even convince myself to buy my own story=( really... this is bad... it might even result in those ppl w/o story wun get to shoot and juz help out wif other ppl's work! tt sux!

It used to be someone who'll support and interested in what ive made... but tt support is gone... i duno... how to make sense out of this... juz like my pitch... it's no-sense...

i wonder could i start talking to her again... den, getting some colours back into my work... coz afterall... the next show i really wana make... is to show this particular colour that lit my life...

~im inspired... but not enough without support...

Labels: adm

...it's autumn time, 4:18 PM

Ive been slping in school quite alot... does it means tt im crazy or too free? actually... not... im juz simply having lots of work to do... office work i oso bring to school and do... coz i dun believe i can wrk at home anymore... the beds and stuffs are simply too tempting to stop wrking and go to slp...

yesterday was like the worst day... i have 5 assignments to complete within 1 nite... and tt's when i felt i got so much to do and cant complete... I wrked frm 12am... but 2am to be exact... coz gotta do capturing, went back home to get my hp etc... 2am was the time i started doing my graphic design...

i really have not enuff time till i asked for help already... and im still not able to complete!!! thx to xinni, peiwen, meihung and manoj for helping... i think i really cui ystrday... poked my finger damn deep i think... quite pain=p... but tt's not the worst...

The worst was that after all the 12 hrs of chionging out... my presentation was brought to next week...
andddddddd
i have a typo on my wrk!!!!!!!! t

that means have to redo-_-" WTF! freaking waste of effort
=(

and i totally in the -_-" mood.... and the =( mood... damn sianz loh... my claz ends at 830 summore! throughout was half awake, half aslp... and pris suddenly pinch on my neck and so accurately hit the nerve spot. JIT TAO WAKE UP! but i v grouchy... coz kena disturb and pain=p

haix... lots of unhappy stuffs... im not happy... things happened the next day was even worse... makes me worst...

actualy.. iam the worst

Labels: adm

...it's autumn time, 3:43 AM

~insomnia.
Film production, assignment 1

Labels: adm

...it's autumn time, 7:15 PM

Freshmen camp has finally ended 2 weeks ago... and school is going to reopen sooooooonnnnnn!!!!!

I HAVEN ENJOYED MY HOLIDAYS YETTTTTTTT!!!!! lol...

Okie... the freshmen camp has really widen alot of my scopes in organising, in judgement, in trust, in believing. I would say the orientation camp wasnt the event that should bring me down or even makes fail as a leader... but well.. many things happened and i do think that in this camp... i failed as a chairperson organising this event.

But with the manpower gone, errors in communication, and all other bad things that goes wrong during the camp, with the help ive got from all members... we've made it somehow and the camp was a great success to the freshmen. This is indeed a camp by all of us... not a single handed organised camp by anyone... without all... i guess i would have been dead by now=p.. lol

Shant really blog on this... coz there's too much to bitch about everyday... the people, the attitude, and stuffs like tt... and worse is that everyday i got shocking stuffs happening and my mental wasnt as great during the camp... lol... everyday as if getting heart attacks=p LOL...

But im happy overall abot the camp itself... we've created a new legend... not legend about publicity... not legend about MIA people... but the prgrms itself... i guess our camp is the earliest ending 1!=p though the fact that by the time we reached the accomodation is already way past wat we expected=p lol... the initiation slide was great! ending 2 hrs earlier den wat we expect... same to audition, we started late, yet we ended within time expected=p the ending helicopter escape was an epic... i experience it myself when i juz reach ADM.. kudos to POW and his comm!=p wasted is tt i couldnt see the scene where the freshmen was dragged into the room and killed... i think tt scene is damn great!=p

The video committee is kicking off this year with the help of cindy and ben tan, their hrs of slp is like mine... damn little... and sometimes when im slping, they're editing... they're really great... if not coz of the cock up this year, i would be heading this as well=p haha.. nvm... next year=) we'll be even better=)

Great thanks to my main comm ppl as well... without them... i think i would still be struggling alone... of coz not forgetting my seniors... who have been supporting me behind the scenes... always ready to push me back, standing by with all they could to make the camp goes well...

Adhocs senior was very very much appreciated as well... with very minimal time informed and information given, they juz came, and helped. without grudges, without complains abot the time wasted...
simply great=)

and lastly to all my batch of ppl who came to help in Alliance leaders, Assistants, programmers etc... all ur effort that uve put in, i can see it... i might not be able to thank u personally but be sure tt i know and i can see... thanks for all ur slpless nites of preparation and making this a memorable 1 for the freshmen...

There's much to thanks... and also much to apologise as well... with all the mistakes that we've made this year, hopefully we'll be able to rectify and make it a better 1 next year...

sianz... tt'll means tt more wrk for me as well... lol...

I WAN MY HOLIDAYSSSSSS=p

Labels: adm

...it's autumn time, 1:46 PM

went for a workshop today... juz a clip, i actually squeezed through a 40 cm space with a steadicam!

Labels: adm

...it's autumn time, 1:56 AM

Okie... now... does any guys bitch about stuffs like me? well? i dun care! coz im really gonna bitch on this...

If you're an organiser... could you even organise and event without even meeting you committee at all? I cant believe that few more days to the dry run, 1 mth to the actual camp, he nvr ever meet up with his committee at all!

If you have organised any event b4... is it possible to have the organiser not meeting the committee up and have the event with all the small programme going on? Maybe it's possible... but definitely not in this case. Where the event is so much bigger than i thought. Im not able to meet him, i have to change my schedule DAMN free to meet his, i need to adjust to his and now im remedying all the stuffs that his not-meeting-his-committee has resulted.

Im now totally, as in TOTALLY hand tight already. Everyday wake up do FOC, go sch FOC, come back home after dinner FOC, slp 3 hrs FOC, meet ppl at weird hours for FOC...

Im not asking anyone to appreciate wat ive done and the hrs ive committed into this... coz afterall, i cant deny the fact that if anything goes wrong, i as a chairperson, have the responsibility in it. I just wish that the others would realise that it's a fact that there's alot of miscommunications, responsibility not met, disappointments here and there... and actually start thinking of the event's success as their prior and work with me.

I cant say the amount of ppl im disappointed in for the whole organising. Coz i expected, yet i cant prevent it from happening. Tried my best but now... it already happened. Im taking extreme measures, gonna make everyone unhappy for all the changes but like wat people say, if you need to do it, do it. Well, im putting everyone's reputation at stake now. Whether it's gonna be a gd camp or not is not dependant on me but literally everyone.

Just hope that im still receiving my support and really ppl to be behind me to support me frm falling. Just too much stuffs and disappointments to receive in 1 camp. After this, u'll expect me to not join any of such again. At most, we'll be doing wat we're interested in, the films...

kkx... back to work...

Labels: adm

...it's autumn time, 2:28 AM

So basic steadicam course is finally over. I missed the last day of the course coz of a wedding shoot. damn! heard tt it's damn fun lah! running with steadicam, outdoor shoot. A.R.G.H.Z. whyyyyyyyyyyyy did i miss it?=(

But anyway, i think ive got to. earned extra cash in order to meet my driving lessons coming up.

The workshop really fun, though it is as hard also. Didnt took photos of myself during the course, but den, alot of others. really fun=p got to noe some new friends, and we watched quite a few movies. That is really good. At least, all my stress tt has been building up from foc is being taken away.

So the workshop finally ends, and im back into foc works. starting an operation remedy where i'll be going around and poking into everyone's business... nags, taking over, conquer... it's war!!!!! =p k lah... think i'll be hated after doing this operation... but den again... if i dun, it'll be my failure liao=p cant believe ystrday i wrked till 6am... and when i woke up today. ive gotta settle with tonnes of stuffs again and was talking to 5psn at the same time abot foc... a.r.g.h.z. enuff of it=p i wana go tour after foc!=p

oh yah... ive juz had my hair cut. change style. another shock for me=p but den again... after the 1st try, nthing is as shocking lioa... only took a day for me to get used to it...=p

Labels: adm

...it's autumn time, 4:39 PM

Second day of workshop, we learnt dolly and cranes today.
Abit tired for me at the 2nd half of the day though... was nuaing and sitting around. Coz too many ppl trying to handle 1 equipment. simply makes me feel off... off as in not pissed... but... nah... dun wana squeeze with them, coz it'll get nthing done.

Another fun day in the workshop. Started off with some dolly action. *I still dun like canon XL2 till this point of time. Maybe im too used to Panasonic DVX? But den again, i still feel that XL2 is not gd enough. especially it doesnt have a sesitive zoom/focus ring.

Break after tt, lunch was split into 2 grps sadly, coz not enuff seats around in da canteen. After lunch i knock out liao... shagged and slpy=p we went to the sound stage and set up the crane for practice. Like they say, cheap thrill... coz the crane wasnt really tt useful when it can focus/zoom, pan left/right. Only tilting is possible and it's not really user friendly if u wana tilt manually.

Den we went into this bumper chair frenzy. lots of fun. especially the wheels of the chair is wrking perfectly fine=p hahaha...

After that we went to the basement to set up an event larger crane, which is definitely much better. More ex stuffs is better stuffs=p the remote and the angles it could provide is superb. Went to try once or twice den i stop le. All the while was juz sitting around, walking around, looking at them, thinking of how to use this equipment in my future shoots=p lol... excuse=p actually i juz lazy liao=p hahha

Talked to pris, and some mates, sharing our knowledge and experience in film. was glad and felt this group, that im going to be in few more mths time, feels like home. A small group of ppl, wrking and helping each other.

Cool=) really enjoyed the workshop too today. Food provided, can learn new stuffs, play, and we can loan the camera out on weekend! hahah... wat's more better den this?=p

Labels: adm

...it's autumn time, 6:39 PM

Yesterday worked till very late for the FOC. So late till it became so early, and i cant fall aslp coz i got so many things in mind.

In the end i worked till the morning and went to the film workshop.
We learning how to use canon XL2. ooooh... 5yrs ago, i was using XL1... so it's still new to me. Though i noe quite abit of technical aspect, that dun put me in any advantage also. That is why the workshop, organised by the seniors, is for.

Had fun in the workshop today. At least i finally escaped from the camp pressure. Really relaxed, joking around, knowing my clazmates that is going to stick together for the next 3 years. Seniors are fun group to be with. Haha... i think the next few days of workshop is gonna be as great=)

Something tells me that this vibe will continue and be good=) jiayou for the camp! whoever is inside the comm and reads my blog, u better jiayou too!=p

Labels: adm

...it's autumn time, 5:41 PM

Last sem, i got 2As, 2Bs, and 2Cs. GPA 3.75

This sem, i got all Bs, AND MY GPA DROPPED!!!!! GPA: 3.41! SAW THE DIFF???

(*okie... now i noe the efx of As... so much diff!!!! exchange 2As for 2Cs to be 2Bs dun worth at all!)

Wah lau eh... fucking disappointed!!! and i thot i did better den last sem lah!! wth!

And i still aimed to pull up my GPA to 4.0-_-" seriously... v v disappointed with this result.

i thot ive did well for 2D and 3D this sem... but my grade dropped! though my history and sociology was a surprise Bgrade-_-

arghz... i juz cant believe that ive did so badly this sem for all the efforts ive made. *okie... not really a great big deal... juz that... biangz... cant believe ive fared so badly this round. and the fact that ive pulled my GPA so much lower! wth am i doing!!!!

Current gpa score: 3.58... wah lau eh... this is damn damn damn bad... 3.75 pulling it to GPA 4.0 is still possible and... 3.58 is like soooooooo far=( and competition next year will be so damn high as well. coz alot of students have film background... and their english powerful... haix... my target next sem. I"LL PULL IT BACK TO 3.75!

Labels: adm

...it's autumn time, 4:06 AM

Sem 2 finally ended!!! i made it somehow... but IM NOT DONE YET!!!!!!

There's a super important task for me to do still!!!! it's FRESHMEN CAMP!!!

okie... wth... i think it's really super stress at this period of time... feel like giving up, but it's juz not me to throw this away...
sick for the past few days... but under the care of my mum... i finally recovered for 1 day... but i think im spoiling it again-_-"

hope tt i wun die so soon... pray for meeeeeeeee....

anyway, juz show u my last few works tt you all haven seen

2D: Self promotion
We're supposed to create something to promote ourselves... but haix... i went quite out of point... but anyway, i like my work=)

im promoting myself as chocolate, someone who can bring you the sweetness and the richness the chocolate could bring

so the packaging is to package this bigger block of chocolate which contain DVD

this 2 chocolate is given on complimentary to the couple, who'll eat it and enjoy the richness while watching their video

The bigger chocolate bar is also wrapped with aluminium wrapper like this, so that they'll experience the opening of the chocolate bar

So the chocolate bar containing the dvd can be 'break' open juz like u break a choc bar, den the 'liquid' chocolate filling will flow out

so when u pull out the liquid, u'll get the dvd

This is my namecard, packaged as chocolate bar

The kick is that i'll break it like a choc bar and pass the name card to u=)

3D: Make a work that people of Today will understand
Im supposed to make something that is 3D form and make people today understand. so i divided my 3D form into 3 parts, basically Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow. working 3days consec.

Yesterday, being a history, that is concrete truth, that is not changeable

a clay model is being used to represent this part

Today, being the present, it is where actions is changed to truth, where actions are changeable to fit into yesterday, ready for tomorrow.

Plastic resin was used to show this mouldability of today.

The resin is used to enclose Yesterday.

The day i poured in the resin, represents Today.

Nice?

Tomorrow, it a structured future, it's a thot, a frame of mind. nothing comes true until today arrives

A simple frame is used to represent the framed mind.

Well... generally... IT IS NOT EASY!!!! =p lol... took me darn long to figure alot of things out=p and yah... it's actually damn hard=p

3D: Collage
Well, this is my prev 3D proj=p think nvr show u all b4... so juz update abit=p

a collage telling a dream, a thot... actually juz feeling emo

The alcohol and hearts

The pouring of sorrow

The escape

The girl in thot

The macaw who looks back

So i have to come out with a 3D model with the concept of this collage.
So i came out with an hour glass,

With wax

I wana pause my memories, in moments.

well... let's not emo so much, moving on to 4D

Actually... i duno wat to do... so juz anyhow do=p lol
it's juz some ghosts, trying to find places. Coz during the last few weeks of school, the whole area is in a mess coz of the installations tt a few other classes is oso taking. In the end, the place is very cluttered and so i couldnt really do any installation at all. So the ghosts represents artists trying to find their space to display their works in the cluttered world outside.

This is at upper level

This is at lower level

Going up

Hiding behind door, ready to infiltrate

Space under skirt?

Stalking

Dead end

Squeezing thru

Lockers oso cannot fang guo

kena shocked!

okie... anyway, tt's somehow marked the end of my sem... with tomorrow going for end of year party at sentosa. but...... really... it's not the end. still got freshmen orientation... tt's the end of the sem i think=p lol!~

let's look forward to more photos coming soon=p

Labels: adm

...it's autumn time, 3:54 AM

Just reached home from school... and now is 430am... and i WALKED HOME! shit...

Just as i was thinking earlier in the day, i wana put my nick as Zen on ecstasy-_-"

Prepared a whole night on western art history, damn! library sux... i got so much info online den 2 days spending in the library lah! -_-" but oso heng for me somehow... i cant imagine how i will die if i dun have help from the internet.

By 7am in da mrning, i had my 1st draft of the essay im going to write out and went to slp, waking at 8, whereby elena ask me to go slp again... LOL... and i blur blur and listened to her...

Woke at 9am den prepared for me draft for the next question. Didnt really completed it so i only memorise the points that i wana write.

Confident. 1st time ever in history=p lol... confident reason is not becoz im going to score well, but confident coz at least i got something to write about. I even had drafts!! which i didnt had last sem. If it wasnt for pravin's and elena's answer last sem, i would have jolly well failed it.

Well... with so much stuffs in mind, i went in the examination with the mindset of faster write finish, faster go... but i ended up staying throughout. Satisfied though. If I never write out of points and my eng didnt failed me, i shd be able to get a B. But i know where my english lies... so a C+ shd be my grade. though i felt i wrote a B- work=p

after that wana go chiong 3D... and SHIT! Peter wasnt in sch! Hafiz oso not in sch! Chris oso duno where he is. How the Fuck are we able to work and complete our assignment when the past 2 weeks the labs are not opened for us to work???? damn pek cek... plus the point that i haven been slping caused me even more sianz...

heng the prev day i opened the windows and nvr locked it. so i climbed into the lab to get some tools den i need and started working. tedious shit... stuffs that was at 1st planned to be completed within 2 hrs in the end made me stayed on till now. and the finishing was quite bad... haix.... but i oso heck liao... like wth... no tools, dun complain. he better dun bring up this topic, coz i confirm will say him back...

tml 10am start of critique... shd i be there? or slp=p

Labels: adm

...it's autumn time, 4:33 AM

*** HELP NEEDED! who have finished their 3D already? i need help tml after History paper to chiong my 3D!!!=p

Labels: adm

...it's autumn time, 4:40 PM

exam chionging... if im really chionging for exam now, i would be happy... but im stll chionging for assignments!!!=(

stayed afew nites in school liao... the 2D lab looks like a hostel now. with couches and bed, with lockers and all our stuffs inside the room... it's like a big locker...

few more days and history paper liao.... better start preparing le...

Labels: adm

...it's autumn time, 9:38 AM

Hmmmm... having a life in ADM is so different from other schs i think... even there's night that others have to chiong in sch for their projects, but i think none of them did like us...

At 5am in da mrning, im cycling back while meeting my fellow admers walking back to his hall... lol...

Life in adm... somehow, it's cool=p
though xiong=p

Labels: adm

...it's autumn time, 5:41 AM

ystrday was abit funny...

It was ystrday that i came back and think that im still a creative psn afterall...

I realised tt during 2D and 3D, i was actually suggesting lots of ideas to others as if im the teacher like tt... but i wasnt able to give myself constructive idea!-_-"

sadded... coz my projs are still hanging in the air, not really where to go... but im glad that i did help others... and hopefully my comments will spark them wif more and better ideas.

Feels great=)anyone wana have critique session wif me? lol...

Vizcommer in the making ~ me?=p

Labels: adm

...it's autumn time, 11:37 AM

Finally... the open house has ended...

It's quite funny how ive survived last week without much slp... and yah... i think it's really getting my health on the verge=p can still remember how ez i can get irritated last week...

Slept for 22hrs ystrday... and ive still got things i haven do=p

Watching matrix juz now... some things never change. but some things do...

Another xiong week coming up... i will survive=p

oh yah! 1 more of my classmate in poly got married!!!!
lol.... cant be there anyway, coz not close oso... but those close to me 1... eh! ur wedding dun care employ me or not... u better get me a ur videographer=p LOL~ side line 1 oso can=p haha

Labels: adm

...it's autumn time, 1:51 AM

I think i got the words "Road Directory" carved on my head... i have 3 or more persons coming to ask me directions in a week!!!

Currently 3am... im in school, doing the video for tml's exhibition... damn... no need to sleep liao... exporting damn slow...

Utilising the film's lab computer liao... hopefully can speed up=p

Labels: adm

...it's autumn time, 2:49 AM

Nudity is so common in art school till im immuned already.

Labels: adm

...it's autumn time, 1:09 PM

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